December 31 is always a busy day for me. I would spend the day doing my last minute shopping rush, preparing the menu for new year's eve, busy choosing which film to be included in our movie marathon, or sometimes, I am on the highways travelling because I still have extra duty, which we call it overload, 3 cities away from home . But it seems like my last day this year was a deviation from the normal. Let me enumerate one by one what I did on a Friday, 31.12.10.
12midnight - After duty, went to Flat 14 to have my pedicure done. After painting my toenails with bright red nailpolish, I also painted my fingernails without the thought that on the morrow comes another duty. What was on my mind was that of going to Church and painting my fingernails with red would compliment my outfit the next day. Good enough, Mam Vicky reminded me just "remove it before you go on duty". Ruosh cooked chicken noodles to beat the cool temperature of dawn
3:45 am- Went back to Flat 6, did my usual beauty regimen then went straight to bed.
7:40am - First alarm. Snoozed it and slept some more.
7:50am - 2nd alarm. Decided to get up to prepare for the Sabbath.
8:30-9:05am - Checked email messages and my FB account while dressing up and putting my make up on.
9:10am - Went out the hostel to wait for Bro. Caloi and family to pick me up. Guard came and started conversation. Offered some biscuits but I declined (I don't like the biscuit) and told him I just brushed my teeth. He continued on with his "getting to know you" strategy, showed me some ID's which I'm not even interested of, then asked for my number. I said I don't use mobily (a cellphone network, just like globe or smart in the Phils), and insisted that I don't have a number. Obviously, I was lying because he can see that I was holding my cellphone on my right hand. Then he said, in a language I barely understood, "you and I sometime go out, then sleep together?".....YUCK!!!!! What an indecent proposal! And he hadn't brushed his teeth, yet! Maybe for a week? EWWWW.....Good thing, Bro. Caloi came. I was saved from being nasty and rude.
10:00am- 12:30pm - In Church, was asked to give the closing prayer. Enjoyed all the classes. Cool teachers! I give them an A+ for the lesson well presented.
12:30-1:30pm - Met Rico, Raegan and Princess, new nurses at Dammam Medical Dispensary. Had a great time with them. Got a Christmas present from the Relief Society - a Christmas stocking full of.....I really don't have an idea. I left the stocking inside the building so I didn't know what's inside it.
1:30-2:15pm- Late lunch (dinner?). Almost all pasta on the table. Enjoyed chitchat with the new nurses with Evan who later joined us in our table and made the conversation more lively with his wit and funny comments.
2:15 - 2:53pm - Travelled back to hostel. Got 7 minutes to prepare.
2:53-3:00pm - I was too fast and too quick in removing my Sunday dress and putting on my scrub suit, spent less than a minute in wrapping my tarha on my head, put on my rubber shoes and abaya, took my bag, and off I go. While inside the elevator, removed my nailpolish using Splash polish remover courtesy of Mam Vicky and of course, put my lipstick on. Without it, I feel like I'm nude!
3:03pm - At ICU. Written: 2:55pm as my time in.....because everybody wrote 14:55 in the DTR. Still too many nurses who hadn't timed in yet. I'm just doing some favor for them......No, I'm lying, it's vice versa, I admit, I did favor for myself. 'Tho that's the trend in our department - 15 minutes waiting period then quarter after 3 will be declared late and everybody should go home 30 minutes past 3pm. Quits!
3:05 - Received endorsement from an Indian nurse. Patient: Filipino, 52 y/o, Stroke, drowsy, with Oxygen inhalation. Nothing really special. Just monitoring.
4pm - Called my kids in the Phils for 5 minutes. Had to cut off the conversation because: #1 reception is not good and #2, phone calls are not allowed in ICU (if caught, OVR or incident report)
7pm - Had dinner with Judy, Jinky, Celeste, Eugene and Maybelline. Food from Herfy Delivery costs 16 rials for the beef burger, fries and a can of pepsi. At 7pm in KSA, Phils is celebrating the New Year. What a timing!
7pm-11pm - ICU stuff with 5 minute nap on the side. Nobody saw me had a cat nap so might do it again tomorrow hehehe......
11:05pm- Endorsed to the 11pm-7am shift.
11:10 pm- met with Joel Collado, son of my patient Cita Collado at ER to take the foods they prepared for New Year's day celeb. Oopps...nothing special here. It's their way of saying thank you because from the very start, it was me who've taken good care of his mom and tomorrow, she'll be transfered to the female medical ward. Good nursing care!
11:10pm - Judy, Jinky and I went back to our hostels to prepare for the New Year's day party at Flat 14.
11:50pm - After a hot shower, proceeded to 4th floor and found all the mudiras (supervisors)at Flat 16 in party mood. We were invited over, took in some foods, (mostly sweets) and well, needless to say, we celebrated New Year successfully, happily, unitedly and enjoyably together as one happy........single ladies?....Nope, I guess, there's only few of us who were included in that category but let me add up some more adjectives for that.....happy, fulfilled, secured, single women.
Party ended at 2am, hopped to Flat 14 and closed the party with a cup of ice cream!
Welcome, 2011!
12.31.2010
12.24.2010
Ang Pasko sa 'Pinas: Isang Pag-alala
Ngayon na ako'y nasa isang bansang di naniniwala kay Hesukristo bilang isang Diyos, ang pagpasok ng isang napakahalagang araw sa buhay ng isang Kristiyano ay parang isang ordinaryong araw lang. Walang Christmas tree, walang Christmas lights, walang kumakanta ng Christmas songs, walang nagbabalot ng mga regalo, hindi puno ang grocery stores o malls na namimili ng sangkatutak na grocery items at mga bagong damit at sapatos at wala ding mga carollers. Dahil walang selebrayon, ako'y nagmuni muni na lang at inalala ang mga pasko ko sa 'Pinas.
Sa 'Pinas, pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng Araw ng mga Patay, nagsisilabasan na ang mga nakatago sa mga kahon na Christmas tree. Pinapagpagan na yan at hinahanda ng itayo sa isang sulok ng bahay na makikita ng mga darating na bisita.Yun bang tipong me motiff pa. Yung una naming Christmas tree noong bata pa mga anak ko, sinabitan namin ng mga mini-chocolates na multi-colored ang green na 6 inches na Christmas tree namin. Yun bang bago dumating ang Christmas eh unti unti na ding nauubos ang mga nakasabit kasi kinain na ng mga bata at nagdadala pa ng kaibigan para pumitas sa Christmas namin. Sabi ko, di magandang idea 'to. Kaya nung lumaki na sila, iba ibang kulay na bola na lang ang sinabit ko, at least yun, di pwede kainin, pero pwede ire-cycle.
Maarte ang mga pinoy pagdating sa mga ganitong okasyon. Di pwedeng christmas balls lang ang nakasabit sa Christmas tree, dapat me bonggang Christmas lights din. At di lang plain Christmas lights, me kasama pang tugtog yun.Last year, nung namili ako ng pang-decorate sa Christmas tree, mas mahal pa yung pangsabit kesa sa Christmas tree. Naisip ko na lang, pwedeng gamitin ulit next year. Worth the investment. Yun na nga, yun daw ulit sinabit sa Christmas tree namin ngayon sabi ng mga anak ko.
Kung gaano kaaga ang pagsaayos ng Christmas tree, ganun din kaaga ang mga pesteng carollers. December 1 pa lang, umaga, me nangangaroling na. Mantakin mo ba namang minsan eh tulog pa ako galing night duty, kinakalampag na ang pintuan ng bahay namin at mangangaroling daw. Para lang umalis na, naglabas na lang ako ng limang piso. Kuripot ba? Buti nga limang piso pa, eh. yung iba ngang naglalakihang bahay, aso ang lalabas, hindi tao para palayasin ang mga wala sa tonong carollers.
Kadalasan, kaming mga matatanda na, oooops, hindi pala matatanda, mga wa-is na magulang mas maganda pakinggan, naglalaan na kami nga mga barya barya para sa mga carollers kasi wa-is na din ang mga carollers. Lalo na ang mga bata. Pag nagbigay ka ng pamasko halimbawa sa Lunes, aba sa Martes babalik yan. Iba na ang damit, iba na rin ang grupo nila. Pero yun pa rin naman ang kinakanta. Kadalasan, kapag pangit ang tono ng boses, piso lang. Pag medyo ok, dalawang piso, pag medyo okay okay limang piso. Pero me mga galante din, me bente pero one time lang yun. Ang nakakatakot kapag grupo ng matatanda ang nangarolling sa bahay mo. Mapipilitan ka mamigay ng isang daan o di kaya limang daan dahil sa hiya, lalo pag me kakilala ka sa mga carollers. Baka nga naman sabihing kuripot ka at ipamalita pa sa iba. Di ba nakakahiya? Lalo pag nagtatarabaho ka sa custom, sa DPWH, sa DepEd, at kung ano ano pang sangay ng makurakot na gobyerno. Patawarin ako ng mga nabanggit kong ahensiya pero pati TV Patrol binabanggit din ang pagkakurakot ng mga ahensiyang yan. Anyway, balik tayo sa carollers. Ako kasi di mahilig mangarolling. Di ako nagi-enjoy. Ayoko ng nababagsakan ng pinto, kinakahulan ng aso, at lalong naiinis lang ako kung tatlong bente singko lang ang ibibigay pagkatapos ko kumanta ng 'Oh Holy Night' na me kodigo. Mga bata naman pag barya binigay kakantahan ka ng "thank you, thank you ang babarat ninyo". Maswerte din pag me mga mababait na mag-alok pa na kumain muna. Pero sayang ang oras, kailangan malibot muna ang buong barangay para makarami. Yun bang, kinarir na ang pangangarolling at bawat bahay yata eh kinakantahan. Pagdating ng bahay, sangkatutak na salabat ang iniinum para me boses pa kinabukasan.
Sa 'Pinas, masaya ang pasko kapag me lechon na pinasakan pa ng mapulang mansanas sa bunganga para mas katakamtakam. Kaso sa hirap ng buhay, mga balikbayan na lang yata ngayon ang naglelechon. Tsaka yung mga nanalo sa lotto. Kaya nadiskubre ang by the kilo na lechon. Aba, eh kahit naman by the kilo, mahal pa rin. 350 pesos yata ang isang kilong lechon tapos lalantakan lang ng ilang minuto. Ang 350 pwede na pangkain ng isang pamilya sa isang araw, ah! Yung iba, walang paki, akala mo walang ng bukas pag makalamon ng lechon. Diyan kaya namatay si Chiquito. Naatake. Nilamutak daw kasi ang buong lechon de leche. Buti pala, mahirap lang kami. Di namin ma-afford ang lechon.
Me queso de bola din. Paborito ko yung kraft. Wala ng tatalo sa sarap pero kung nagtitipid, pwede na din ibang brand, mga nakamura ka ng singkuwenta pesos. Pero kung walang wala talaga bakit di na lang pagtiisan si eden cheese, mapapa-hmmmm ka pa sa sarap. Nung nasa Valenzuela pa ako, ang queso de bola, walang kumakain kaya kinabukasan, hinahalo na lang sa itlog, pang-omelet.
Siempre, ang pansit, huwag kalimutan. Sang bahay ka man pumunta kapag pasko, ang mesa, me pansit. Me pansit na kayumanggi na para isang litrong silver swan soy sauce yata ang pinangtimpla at maalat alat pa talaga. Me pansit na tamang tama, pero binudburan naman ng sangkatutak na gulay, karne, pusit, atay at di pa talaga nakuntento ang kusinero, nagdagdag pa ng squid balls. Para tuloy nagmukhang sahog yung pansit. Meron namang pansit na nagmamakaawa. Magic sarap lang ang hinalo, swak na. Eto ang matindi, ang anemic na pansit. Aba, ni wala man lang kulay ang tinaguriang hari ng mga handa. Parang palabok na bold. Buti na lang, lahat ng anemic na pansit na natikman ko, masarap.
Barbecue- ang pinoy kasi, me Christmas bonus yan pag December. Nakalaan na ang pera sa bonggang noche buena at buena de noche. Ewan ko ba sa pinoy, sa pandinig ko at sa pag-analyze ko sa dalawang espanol sa kataga eh, pareho lang naman. Pinagbaliktad lang at yung isa para sa pasko, yung isa para sa bagong taon. Matanong nga yung isang kakilala ko dito na espanol kung ano talaga pagkaiba nito nang maliwanagan tayo. Siempre pag sinabing bbq, me chicken bbq, pork bbq, pero nagtataka talaga ako kasi pag isda ang minarinade sa parehong sangkap, ang tawag sinugba? Pang mayaman siguro talaga ang manok at baboy. Eh ang beef? Wala pa yata akong nakitang beef barbecue, meron na ba? Hotdog na binarbecue, meron din ba? Meron noh? Pero ang tawag ba ay hotdog barbecue? Weird!
Salad. Eto na. Siempre me salad na handa at karamihan sa napuntahan kong bahay, macaroni salad na bonggang bongga ang handa. Yun bang tipong December 23 pa lang eh handa na at nakafreezer na at nakalagay pa sa tupperware. Sa sobrang dami, gagawin pang pangmeryenda, pang-dessert na rin araw araw at para maubos na, pinamimigay na lang sa kapitbahay. Mamukatmukat mo, sa new year ulit, ganun na naman. Hay, ang pinoy nga naman. Pero nauso din yung agar-agar di ba? Pagkakaiba lang yung gatas na ginamit. Siempre pag alpine, the best, pag carnation ok na din, pero pag angel evaporada, parang lasang gatas ng aso hehehe....pasensiya na sa gumagamit ng angel ha? Di ko lang talaga bet. Yung mga sosyal, siempre chicken salad, potato salad, buco salad, green salad at kung ano ano pang salad. Meron pa yung jumping salad na kagagaling pa yata sa dagat. Maalala ko yung isa kung katrabaho dati, nag-LBM sa dami ng nilantakan niyang jumping salad. Ngayon lang daw kasi nakatikim nun. Gluttony na bang matatawag yun?
Kakanin- siempre, di ka pinoy pag walang kakanin. At ang kakanin, iba iba ring variety niyan. Unahin natin ang suman. Ang nanay ko parang walang pasko pag walang suman, eh araw araw namang me nagtitinda ng suman sa bahay namin. Isawsaw lang sa asukal, swak na ang breakfast. Eh siya, pinapalaman ba naman sa pandesal. Diabetic na nga, doble doble pang carbohydrates ang nilalantakan. Ang rason eh, me insulin naman daw. Oo nga naman. Mahal nga lang ang insulin. Mahigit isang libo, lang kwentang senior citizen's discount minsan ayaw pa magbigay ng 20%. Pag di bumili sa Mercury Drug, at wala ka nung senior citizen's booklet at prescription, di ka din makakakuha ng 20%discount. Ang gulo! Buti me 20 years pa bago ako maging senior citizen.
Puto bumbong at bibingka. Nung nasa Manila pa kami, me masarasp na bilihan ng puto bumbong at bibingka malapit sa bahay namin sa BBB, Valenzuela. Nungka, mga 1998 yata nung una kung matikman ang puto bumbong na yan. Violet ang kulay na niluto sa kahoy. Nilagyan ng kinayod na buko at butter. Sarap! Yung bibingka naman kahit di pasko pwede makabili. Minsan, nakakita ako sa Las Palmas Hotel at parang masarap, at ang amoy, talaga namang maglalaway ka, Napabili ako. Mantakin mo ba namang 60 pesos ang isa. 1998 yun! 12 years ago. Malamang ngayon, 120 pesos na ang isa. Yung ordinaryong bibingka, bente lang yata. Hay, ang sarap ng pagkaing pinoy. Mas pinasarap pa kung me mainit na tsokolate. Perfect combination!
Spaghetti- ang pinoy, di malaman kung spaghetti o pansit ang ihahanda. Para safe, sige na nga, spag at pansit na lang. Unknowingly, pareho lang carbo ang dalawang eto. Ang rason ng mga nanay, pambata daw ang spag, pang matanda naman daw ang pansit. Siya, sige na nga, ganun na nga. Pero nakakatuwa, kasi ang spag, ang dami ring variety. Me spag na ang halo ay corned beef. Masarap daw pero never ko na-appreciate. Me spag naman tuna ang halo, depende din yan sa tuna. Me tuna kasi na nagtunatunahan lang. Basta century tuna flakes in oil o di kaya in water, the best na para sa akin. Depende sa pagkaluto. Me spag namang puro hotdog, eh ang hotdog sa pinas, napakaraming variety. Kanya kanyang preference yan pero sakin, the best pa rin ang purefoods. Minsan di kami magkaintindihan ng mga anak ko kasi tender juicy ang tawag nila sa purefoods. Minsan nga, nag-attend kami ng party, sinabihan ba naman ng bunso ko yung nag-serve, purefoods ba yan? Hindi daw, CDO yata tapos sabay sabing "AY!".
Softdrinks - sa tingin ko, ang pilipinas yata ang isa sa pinakamahilig uminom ng coca cola at pepsi cola. Minsan, makita mo, ang laman ng mga sasakyan, litro litrong soda. Minsan ang mga sosyal, siempre, in can. Dito ang 1 can 1.50 rials lang, Sa pinas, 18 pesos. Kung ang rial ay 12 pesos, pareho lang. Saming magkakaibigan, mapa-bethany, UB at dito sa Saudi, ako lang talaga ang mahilig sa softdrinks. Pero dito sa Saudi, mga kaibigan ko na ang mga bewang ay 24 inches lang yata at di sila umiinom ng soda, pati ako nadadiet na rin. Yun bang once a week na lang instead na once a day ang inum ko ngayon ng pepsi o di kaya coke. In can siempre, kasi wala namang mabibili dito na nilalagay sa supot.
Yun na nga, ang pinoy, softdrinks lover talaga kaya kadalasan sa mga store pag ganitong magpapasko na, sangkatutak na softdrinks na ang nalagay sa ref nila para ibenta. At nakakagulat talaga, nauubusan pa yan. Ganun katindi ang mga noypi pagdating sa paglaklak ng softdrinks. Di rin siempre lahat pabor sa softdrinks, Yung iba, naglalaan ng panahon para magtimpla ng juice. Orange juice, mango juice, pineapple juice, grape juice, buco juice......juice ko, at minsan jan ka madadale ng LBM kasi ang ginamit sa pantimpla, mineral water nga, dinagdagan naman ng ice na hindi mineral water, eh di ganun din. Minsan dahil mahal ang asukal, wala naman na ding lasa ang tinaguriang panulak.
Ano pa ba ang nakalimutan ko? Ay oo, ang loafbread. Oo nga no? Me tinapay pang handa. At sa lahat ng hindi nakakain at nagmukmok lang sa tabi, eh di si loafbread. Pano wala namang palaman. Basta na lang nilapag sa la mesa. Ako, bumibili lang ng loafbread pag alam kong mabibitin ang handa ko, Gardenia siempre para masarap kahit walang palaman hehe. Yun ang sabi ng patalastas. Ui, ang nanay ko, pwede ba namang magmukmok ang loafbread? Eh pag me star margarine, siya na ngayon ang bida. Budburan mo pa ang asukal. Parang sandwich na rin. Di bale, pampatangkad naman daw ang star margarine. Yung iba me cake pa. Nung nagbukas ang Red Ribbon samin, aba, alas singko pa lang ng hapon, ubos na ang lahat ng cakes nila. Masarap nga naman. Medyo mas mahal lang ng konti sa Goldilocks. Sa dami ng variety ng cake, anything chocolate pa rin ang paborito ko.
Alam ko madami pa ako nakalimutan pero eto ang mga pinalamaalala ko kapag pasko sa 'Pinas. Siempre, mga kapamilya, kapuso, kapitbahay, kaibigan, katuto, kachika....alam nating lahat, the best magcelebrate ang Pinoy ng Christmas. Wala man kami sa 'Pinas, ang puso at isipan namin, nasa 'Pinas pa din. Nakakamiss, 'ika nga! Alam nyo bang kaming OFW, makita lang namin na okay kayo jan sa ating bansang pinamumugaran ng mga kapitalista at mga pulitikong minsan eh walang kakwenta kwenta (hindi naman lahat), masaya na din kami. Basta para sa pamilya, kaya namin magsakripisyo. Marinig lang namin na okay kayo, okay na rin kami. At gusto naming iparating sa lahat, ang aming mga pinagpaguran at pagtitiis ay para sa inyo. Dahil mahal na mahal namin kayo. Mabuhay ang pamilyang Pilipino. Maligayang Pasko po!
Sa 'Pinas, pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng Araw ng mga Patay, nagsisilabasan na ang mga nakatago sa mga kahon na Christmas tree. Pinapagpagan na yan at hinahanda ng itayo sa isang sulok ng bahay na makikita ng mga darating na bisita.Yun bang tipong me motiff pa. Yung una naming Christmas tree noong bata pa mga anak ko, sinabitan namin ng mga mini-chocolates na multi-colored ang green na 6 inches na Christmas tree namin. Yun bang bago dumating ang Christmas eh unti unti na ding nauubos ang mga nakasabit kasi kinain na ng mga bata at nagdadala pa ng kaibigan para pumitas sa Christmas namin. Sabi ko, di magandang idea 'to. Kaya nung lumaki na sila, iba ibang kulay na bola na lang ang sinabit ko, at least yun, di pwede kainin, pero pwede ire-cycle.
Maarte ang mga pinoy pagdating sa mga ganitong okasyon. Di pwedeng christmas balls lang ang nakasabit sa Christmas tree, dapat me bonggang Christmas lights din. At di lang plain Christmas lights, me kasama pang tugtog yun.Last year, nung namili ako ng pang-decorate sa Christmas tree, mas mahal pa yung pangsabit kesa sa Christmas tree. Naisip ko na lang, pwedeng gamitin ulit next year. Worth the investment. Yun na nga, yun daw ulit sinabit sa Christmas tree namin ngayon sabi ng mga anak ko.
Kung gaano kaaga ang pagsaayos ng Christmas tree, ganun din kaaga ang mga pesteng carollers. December 1 pa lang, umaga, me nangangaroling na. Mantakin mo ba namang minsan eh tulog pa ako galing night duty, kinakalampag na ang pintuan ng bahay namin at mangangaroling daw. Para lang umalis na, naglabas na lang ako ng limang piso. Kuripot ba? Buti nga limang piso pa, eh. yung iba ngang naglalakihang bahay, aso ang lalabas, hindi tao para palayasin ang mga wala sa tonong carollers.
Kadalasan, kaming mga matatanda na, oooops, hindi pala matatanda, mga wa-is na magulang mas maganda pakinggan, naglalaan na kami nga mga barya barya para sa mga carollers kasi wa-is na din ang mga carollers. Lalo na ang mga bata. Pag nagbigay ka ng pamasko halimbawa sa Lunes, aba sa Martes babalik yan. Iba na ang damit, iba na rin ang grupo nila. Pero yun pa rin naman ang kinakanta. Kadalasan, kapag pangit ang tono ng boses, piso lang. Pag medyo ok, dalawang piso, pag medyo okay okay limang piso. Pero me mga galante din, me bente pero one time lang yun. Ang nakakatakot kapag grupo ng matatanda ang nangarolling sa bahay mo. Mapipilitan ka mamigay ng isang daan o di kaya limang daan dahil sa hiya, lalo pag me kakilala ka sa mga carollers. Baka nga naman sabihing kuripot ka at ipamalita pa sa iba. Di ba nakakahiya? Lalo pag nagtatarabaho ka sa custom, sa DPWH, sa DepEd, at kung ano ano pang sangay ng makurakot na gobyerno. Patawarin ako ng mga nabanggit kong ahensiya pero pati TV Patrol binabanggit din ang pagkakurakot ng mga ahensiyang yan. Anyway, balik tayo sa carollers. Ako kasi di mahilig mangarolling. Di ako nagi-enjoy. Ayoko ng nababagsakan ng pinto, kinakahulan ng aso, at lalong naiinis lang ako kung tatlong bente singko lang ang ibibigay pagkatapos ko kumanta ng 'Oh Holy Night' na me kodigo. Mga bata naman pag barya binigay kakantahan ka ng "thank you, thank you ang babarat ninyo". Maswerte din pag me mga mababait na mag-alok pa na kumain muna. Pero sayang ang oras, kailangan malibot muna ang buong barangay para makarami. Yun bang, kinarir na ang pangangarolling at bawat bahay yata eh kinakantahan. Pagdating ng bahay, sangkatutak na salabat ang iniinum para me boses pa kinabukasan.
Sa 'Pinas, masaya ang pasko kapag me lechon na pinasakan pa ng mapulang mansanas sa bunganga para mas katakamtakam. Kaso sa hirap ng buhay, mga balikbayan na lang yata ngayon ang naglelechon. Tsaka yung mga nanalo sa lotto. Kaya nadiskubre ang by the kilo na lechon. Aba, eh kahit naman by the kilo, mahal pa rin. 350 pesos yata ang isang kilong lechon tapos lalantakan lang ng ilang minuto. Ang 350 pwede na pangkain ng isang pamilya sa isang araw, ah! Yung iba, walang paki, akala mo walang ng bukas pag makalamon ng lechon. Diyan kaya namatay si Chiquito. Naatake. Nilamutak daw kasi ang buong lechon de leche. Buti pala, mahirap lang kami. Di namin ma-afford ang lechon.
Me queso de bola din. Paborito ko yung kraft. Wala ng tatalo sa sarap pero kung nagtitipid, pwede na din ibang brand, mga nakamura ka ng singkuwenta pesos. Pero kung walang wala talaga bakit di na lang pagtiisan si eden cheese, mapapa-hmmmm ka pa sa sarap. Nung nasa Valenzuela pa ako, ang queso de bola, walang kumakain kaya kinabukasan, hinahalo na lang sa itlog, pang-omelet.
Siempre, ang pansit, huwag kalimutan. Sang bahay ka man pumunta kapag pasko, ang mesa, me pansit. Me pansit na kayumanggi na para isang litrong silver swan soy sauce yata ang pinangtimpla at maalat alat pa talaga. Me pansit na tamang tama, pero binudburan naman ng sangkatutak na gulay, karne, pusit, atay at di pa talaga nakuntento ang kusinero, nagdagdag pa ng squid balls. Para tuloy nagmukhang sahog yung pansit. Meron namang pansit na nagmamakaawa. Magic sarap lang ang hinalo, swak na. Eto ang matindi, ang anemic na pansit. Aba, ni wala man lang kulay ang tinaguriang hari ng mga handa. Parang palabok na bold. Buti na lang, lahat ng anemic na pansit na natikman ko, masarap.
Barbecue- ang pinoy kasi, me Christmas bonus yan pag December. Nakalaan na ang pera sa bonggang noche buena at buena de noche. Ewan ko ba sa pinoy, sa pandinig ko at sa pag-analyze ko sa dalawang espanol sa kataga eh, pareho lang naman. Pinagbaliktad lang at yung isa para sa pasko, yung isa para sa bagong taon. Matanong nga yung isang kakilala ko dito na espanol kung ano talaga pagkaiba nito nang maliwanagan tayo. Siempre pag sinabing bbq, me chicken bbq, pork bbq, pero nagtataka talaga ako kasi pag isda ang minarinade sa parehong sangkap, ang tawag sinugba? Pang mayaman siguro talaga ang manok at baboy. Eh ang beef? Wala pa yata akong nakitang beef barbecue, meron na ba? Hotdog na binarbecue, meron din ba? Meron noh? Pero ang tawag ba ay hotdog barbecue? Weird!
Salad. Eto na. Siempre me salad na handa at karamihan sa napuntahan kong bahay, macaroni salad na bonggang bongga ang handa. Yun bang tipong December 23 pa lang eh handa na at nakafreezer na at nakalagay pa sa tupperware. Sa sobrang dami, gagawin pang pangmeryenda, pang-dessert na rin araw araw at para maubos na, pinamimigay na lang sa kapitbahay. Mamukatmukat mo, sa new year ulit, ganun na naman. Hay, ang pinoy nga naman. Pero nauso din yung agar-agar di ba? Pagkakaiba lang yung gatas na ginamit. Siempre pag alpine, the best, pag carnation ok na din, pero pag angel evaporada, parang lasang gatas ng aso hehehe....pasensiya na sa gumagamit ng angel ha? Di ko lang talaga bet. Yung mga sosyal, siempre chicken salad, potato salad, buco salad, green salad at kung ano ano pang salad. Meron pa yung jumping salad na kagagaling pa yata sa dagat. Maalala ko yung isa kung katrabaho dati, nag-LBM sa dami ng nilantakan niyang jumping salad. Ngayon lang daw kasi nakatikim nun. Gluttony na bang matatawag yun?
Kakanin- siempre, di ka pinoy pag walang kakanin. At ang kakanin, iba iba ring variety niyan. Unahin natin ang suman. Ang nanay ko parang walang pasko pag walang suman, eh araw araw namang me nagtitinda ng suman sa bahay namin. Isawsaw lang sa asukal, swak na ang breakfast. Eh siya, pinapalaman ba naman sa pandesal. Diabetic na nga, doble doble pang carbohydrates ang nilalantakan. Ang rason eh, me insulin naman daw. Oo nga naman. Mahal nga lang ang insulin. Mahigit isang libo, lang kwentang senior citizen's discount minsan ayaw pa magbigay ng 20%. Pag di bumili sa Mercury Drug, at wala ka nung senior citizen's booklet at prescription, di ka din makakakuha ng 20%discount. Ang gulo! Buti me 20 years pa bago ako maging senior citizen.
Puto bumbong at bibingka. Nung nasa Manila pa kami, me masarasp na bilihan ng puto bumbong at bibingka malapit sa bahay namin sa BBB, Valenzuela. Nungka, mga 1998 yata nung una kung matikman ang puto bumbong na yan. Violet ang kulay na niluto sa kahoy. Nilagyan ng kinayod na buko at butter. Sarap! Yung bibingka naman kahit di pasko pwede makabili. Minsan, nakakita ako sa Las Palmas Hotel at parang masarap, at ang amoy, talaga namang maglalaway ka, Napabili ako. Mantakin mo ba namang 60 pesos ang isa. 1998 yun! 12 years ago. Malamang ngayon, 120 pesos na ang isa. Yung ordinaryong bibingka, bente lang yata. Hay, ang sarap ng pagkaing pinoy. Mas pinasarap pa kung me mainit na tsokolate. Perfect combination!
Spaghetti- ang pinoy, di malaman kung spaghetti o pansit ang ihahanda. Para safe, sige na nga, spag at pansit na lang. Unknowingly, pareho lang carbo ang dalawang eto. Ang rason ng mga nanay, pambata daw ang spag, pang matanda naman daw ang pansit. Siya, sige na nga, ganun na nga. Pero nakakatuwa, kasi ang spag, ang dami ring variety. Me spag na ang halo ay corned beef. Masarap daw pero never ko na-appreciate. Me spag naman tuna ang halo, depende din yan sa tuna. Me tuna kasi na nagtunatunahan lang. Basta century tuna flakes in oil o di kaya in water, the best na para sa akin. Depende sa pagkaluto. Me spag namang puro hotdog, eh ang hotdog sa pinas, napakaraming variety. Kanya kanyang preference yan pero sakin, the best pa rin ang purefoods. Minsan di kami magkaintindihan ng mga anak ko kasi tender juicy ang tawag nila sa purefoods. Minsan nga, nag-attend kami ng party, sinabihan ba naman ng bunso ko yung nag-serve, purefoods ba yan? Hindi daw, CDO yata tapos sabay sabing "AY!".
Softdrinks - sa tingin ko, ang pilipinas yata ang isa sa pinakamahilig uminom ng coca cola at pepsi cola. Minsan, makita mo, ang laman ng mga sasakyan, litro litrong soda. Minsan ang mga sosyal, siempre, in can. Dito ang 1 can 1.50 rials lang, Sa pinas, 18 pesos. Kung ang rial ay 12 pesos, pareho lang. Saming magkakaibigan, mapa-bethany, UB at dito sa Saudi, ako lang talaga ang mahilig sa softdrinks. Pero dito sa Saudi, mga kaibigan ko na ang mga bewang ay 24 inches lang yata at di sila umiinom ng soda, pati ako nadadiet na rin. Yun bang once a week na lang instead na once a day ang inum ko ngayon ng pepsi o di kaya coke. In can siempre, kasi wala namang mabibili dito na nilalagay sa supot.
Yun na nga, ang pinoy, softdrinks lover talaga kaya kadalasan sa mga store pag ganitong magpapasko na, sangkatutak na softdrinks na ang nalagay sa ref nila para ibenta. At nakakagulat talaga, nauubusan pa yan. Ganun katindi ang mga noypi pagdating sa paglaklak ng softdrinks. Di rin siempre lahat pabor sa softdrinks, Yung iba, naglalaan ng panahon para magtimpla ng juice. Orange juice, mango juice, pineapple juice, grape juice, buco juice......juice ko, at minsan jan ka madadale ng LBM kasi ang ginamit sa pantimpla, mineral water nga, dinagdagan naman ng ice na hindi mineral water, eh di ganun din. Minsan dahil mahal ang asukal, wala naman na ding lasa ang tinaguriang panulak.
Ano pa ba ang nakalimutan ko? Ay oo, ang loafbread. Oo nga no? Me tinapay pang handa. At sa lahat ng hindi nakakain at nagmukmok lang sa tabi, eh di si loafbread. Pano wala namang palaman. Basta na lang nilapag sa la mesa. Ako, bumibili lang ng loafbread pag alam kong mabibitin ang handa ko, Gardenia siempre para masarap kahit walang palaman hehe. Yun ang sabi ng patalastas. Ui, ang nanay ko, pwede ba namang magmukmok ang loafbread? Eh pag me star margarine, siya na ngayon ang bida. Budburan mo pa ang asukal. Parang sandwich na rin. Di bale, pampatangkad naman daw ang star margarine. Yung iba me cake pa. Nung nagbukas ang Red Ribbon samin, aba, alas singko pa lang ng hapon, ubos na ang lahat ng cakes nila. Masarap nga naman. Medyo mas mahal lang ng konti sa Goldilocks. Sa dami ng variety ng cake, anything chocolate pa rin ang paborito ko.
Alam ko madami pa ako nakalimutan pero eto ang mga pinalamaalala ko kapag pasko sa 'Pinas. Siempre, mga kapamilya, kapuso, kapitbahay, kaibigan, katuto, kachika....alam nating lahat, the best magcelebrate ang Pinoy ng Christmas. Wala man kami sa 'Pinas, ang puso at isipan namin, nasa 'Pinas pa din. Nakakamiss, 'ika nga! Alam nyo bang kaming OFW, makita lang namin na okay kayo jan sa ating bansang pinamumugaran ng mga kapitalista at mga pulitikong minsan eh walang kakwenta kwenta (hindi naman lahat), masaya na din kami. Basta para sa pamilya, kaya namin magsakripisyo. Marinig lang namin na okay kayo, okay na rin kami. At gusto naming iparating sa lahat, ang aming mga pinagpaguran at pagtitiis ay para sa inyo. Dahil mahal na mahal namin kayo. Mabuhay ang pamilyang Pilipino. Maligayang Pasko po!
12.20.2010
The 2nd Bitch
Whenever a girlfriend or a wife is dumped, betrayed, fooled, busted or left behind, because of another woman, we tend to call the woman a BITCH. Surprisingly (to me), the dictionary defined bitch (as a noun) a member of the canine animal especially dog; a person who is thoroughly dislike; a lewd woman. So what's the difference between a female dog and the "other woman"? I've got an answer to that but I might get censored with my naughty opinion so I prefer not to say it in public.
I told you in my 3rd blog that I've got yet another surprising discovery. This time, a personal encounter.
It's been more than a year since my daughters and I left our home in Valenzuela and started a new life in San Fernando, La Union. Let me just clarify, however that it wasn't us who left first. So if it isn't us? Who did? It's a he-said, she-said thing in my next blog.
With the meager income we have at Bethany Hospital, and left with two fatherless kids, without any financial support and with the desire to prove something, I decided to seek a job abroad. Applying to Saudi Arabia way back 2004 was as easy as 1-2-3. With my ICU experience and having passed the exams and interviews, I didn't have a hard time getting an offer - to Al Hada Hospital, under the Ministry of Defense and Aviation, Taif. Travelling to Manila was one thing I hated the most when applying, considering the heavy traffic, pollution, expenses, the heat, mad drivers, name it and Manila has it. Within 4 weeks of travelling weekly to and from Manila to facilitate my papers, I finally attended the final requirement prior to flying to KSA: the Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar (PDOS). Finished it off early, I decided to watch a movie before travelling back home. I'm a movie addict, more so enjoyed watching it on the big screen. So even if I am alone or no matter how much dolby surround or imax cinemas cost, I don't mind as long as I satisfy myself with my vanity.
The nearest mall to where I am was Robinsons Place, Ermita. 99% of malls in Metro Manila are equipped with state of the art cinemas, of which, Robinsons, one of the biggest, and I personally prefer it over SM, I thought of dropping by to spend at least of a couple of hours to watch a movie prior to travelling 6 more hours back to La Union. Besides, travelling from 5pm onwards in Manila is a total disaster with heavy traffic and highways are almost always congested.
To maximize my time, I did suroy suroy muna. Did window shopping and some shopping first. It's past 7pm when I finally decided to buy my ticket for an Ashton Kucher movie. Title forgotten, it was the best movie I could find and no matter how lame it was, it's the movie I wanted to see that time. After buying my ticket, I thought of going back to buy some stuff for pasalubong, something my kids will munch on when I arrive home. I went down from 5th to 4th floor and walked through my way going to Padre Faura wing (north wing) hoping to find some kiddie goodie stuff along the way. While walking, I wasn't paying attention to my way, instead, my head turned on to my left and to my right enjoying all those mall stuff but when I looked straight ahead, to my astonishment, for lo and behold, my husband! (Technically, I still call him husband because we're not yet legally separated- til now) and he's walking towards me! I believed he haven't seen me yet because he was paying attention to something on his right, not looking on his way, too and we're at least almost 4-5 feet away. With him on his left side were bunch of girls talking to one another. Very distinctive was this young girl, fair complexioned, with long hair and to my estimate, only 18 years old, with almost same height as mine (don't ask for my height!.......okay, I'm 5 feet....almost!LOL!) and she's holding hands with my husband! Or should I say, my husband was holding hand with hers.... AND SHE'S PREGNANT! In her white maternity dress, I can tell, as a nurse, that maybe the belly was 7-8 months big, almost to burst out . When Bong saw me, he said, "Hi, Gie" casually. I looked at him straight in the eye but immediately focused my attention to the girl. I believe the girl didn't notice me because I didn't stop walking nor did they stop walking. Neither did I make a scene nor say a word. I can't figure out, however, how I must have looked like that very moment. I just kept on walking and before I knew it, I was already on dead end near the food court. Seemed like my world just turned upside down that very minute. I was looking for something I could hold on to because I feel like fainting. I was alone. I knew nobody and nobody knew me. If something happened to me that time, then they must just stared at me and left me behind like a poor orphan.
I tried to stay focused and the first thing I looked for was my cellphone, which, very untimely has a bar left for my battery. I texted my kids, informing them that I saw their dad with ANOTHER WOMAN, a pregnant woman. Given the chance, if only I can bring back those times, I should not have texted them. It was a very immature act, indeed. But I have no one to share my frustrations with. My kids knew from the very start what happened between me and their dad and them knowing firsthand what I've just witnessed wasn't so evil after all.
When I regained my full consciousness, I still went to the moviehouse. Sayang naman yung binayaran ko. But I never understood anything. My mind was busy internalizing what happened. I haven't really absorbed what just transpired. Reality bites? Reality sucks? Nope, for me, that time, reality enlightens. I've heard that after our separation, he's already living in with somebody but he never admitted it. Was the girl I saw in Robinsons the same as the girl on my 4th blog? NOT either. She's the 2nd bitch! Or maybe, 3rd or 4th or 5th. It doesn't matter. What's matters most that time was I no longer live in false hope- a hope that he will come back for us but the incident gave me a better view of the future.
In addition, I didn't push through with my application to KSA, not because what I saw served as a bad omen but I overheard my kids, Kryztl 9, Knycole 5, talking to one another and their conversation hit me deeply: "Knycole, from now on, let's practice living alone, you and I only. Daddy has left us and mommy is about to leave us also". I cried when I saw them hugging each other while they both cry because of the impending separation. That's the time I knew, it's not yet the right time to leave.
I told you in my 3rd blog that I've got yet another surprising discovery. This time, a personal encounter.
It's been more than a year since my daughters and I left our home in Valenzuela and started a new life in San Fernando, La Union. Let me just clarify, however that it wasn't us who left first. So if it isn't us? Who did? It's a he-said, she-said thing in my next blog.
With the meager income we have at Bethany Hospital, and left with two fatherless kids, without any financial support and with the desire to prove something, I decided to seek a job abroad. Applying to Saudi Arabia way back 2004 was as easy as 1-2-3. With my ICU experience and having passed the exams and interviews, I didn't have a hard time getting an offer - to Al Hada Hospital, under the Ministry of Defense and Aviation, Taif. Travelling to Manila was one thing I hated the most when applying, considering the heavy traffic, pollution, expenses, the heat, mad drivers, name it and Manila has it. Within 4 weeks of travelling weekly to and from Manila to facilitate my papers, I finally attended the final requirement prior to flying to KSA: the Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar (PDOS). Finished it off early, I decided to watch a movie before travelling back home. I'm a movie addict, more so enjoyed watching it on the big screen. So even if I am alone or no matter how much dolby surround or imax cinemas cost, I don't mind as long as I satisfy myself with my vanity.
The nearest mall to where I am was Robinsons Place, Ermita. 99% of malls in Metro Manila are equipped with state of the art cinemas, of which, Robinsons, one of the biggest, and I personally prefer it over SM, I thought of dropping by to spend at least of a couple of hours to watch a movie prior to travelling 6 more hours back to La Union. Besides, travelling from 5pm onwards in Manila is a total disaster with heavy traffic and highways are almost always congested.
To maximize my time, I did suroy suroy muna. Did window shopping and some shopping first. It's past 7pm when I finally decided to buy my ticket for an Ashton Kucher movie. Title forgotten, it was the best movie I could find and no matter how lame it was, it's the movie I wanted to see that time. After buying my ticket, I thought of going back to buy some stuff for pasalubong, something my kids will munch on when I arrive home. I went down from 5th to 4th floor and walked through my way going to Padre Faura wing (north wing) hoping to find some kiddie goodie stuff along the way. While walking, I wasn't paying attention to my way, instead, my head turned on to my left and to my right enjoying all those mall stuff but when I looked straight ahead, to my astonishment, for lo and behold, my husband! (Technically, I still call him husband because we're not yet legally separated- til now) and he's walking towards me! I believed he haven't seen me yet because he was paying attention to something on his right, not looking on his way, too and we're at least almost 4-5 feet away. With him on his left side were bunch of girls talking to one another. Very distinctive was this young girl, fair complexioned, with long hair and to my estimate, only 18 years old, with almost same height as mine (don't ask for my height!.......okay, I'm 5 feet....almost!LOL!) and she's holding hands with my husband! Or should I say, my husband was holding hand with hers.... AND SHE'S PREGNANT! In her white maternity dress, I can tell, as a nurse, that maybe the belly was 7-8 months big, almost to burst out . When Bong saw me, he said, "Hi, Gie" casually. I looked at him straight in the eye but immediately focused my attention to the girl. I believe the girl didn't notice me because I didn't stop walking nor did they stop walking. Neither did I make a scene nor say a word. I can't figure out, however, how I must have looked like that very moment. I just kept on walking and before I knew it, I was already on dead end near the food court. Seemed like my world just turned upside down that very minute. I was looking for something I could hold on to because I feel like fainting. I was alone. I knew nobody and nobody knew me. If something happened to me that time, then they must just stared at me and left me behind like a poor orphan.
I tried to stay focused and the first thing I looked for was my cellphone, which, very untimely has a bar left for my battery. I texted my kids, informing them that I saw their dad with ANOTHER WOMAN, a pregnant woman. Given the chance, if only I can bring back those times, I should not have texted them. It was a very immature act, indeed. But I have no one to share my frustrations with. My kids knew from the very start what happened between me and their dad and them knowing firsthand what I've just witnessed wasn't so evil after all.
When I regained my full consciousness, I still went to the moviehouse. Sayang naman yung binayaran ko. But I never understood anything. My mind was busy internalizing what happened. I haven't really absorbed what just transpired. Reality bites? Reality sucks? Nope, for me, that time, reality enlightens. I've heard that after our separation, he's already living in with somebody but he never admitted it. Was the girl I saw in Robinsons the same as the girl on my 4th blog? NOT either. She's the 2nd bitch! Or maybe, 3rd or 4th or 5th. It doesn't matter. What's matters most that time was I no longer live in false hope- a hope that he will come back for us but the incident gave me a better view of the future.
In addition, I didn't push through with my application to KSA, not because what I saw served as a bad omen but I overheard my kids, Kryztl 9, Knycole 5, talking to one another and their conversation hit me deeply: "Knycole, from now on, let's practice living alone, you and I only. Daddy has left us and mommy is about to leave us also". I cried when I saw them hugging each other while they both cry because of the impending separation. That's the time I knew, it's not yet the right time to leave.
12.18.2010
Church Matters: Excommunication vs. Disfellowship
I still have hangover with my last blog. Honestly, I thought that the pain have vanished away a hundred percent but looking back, there are still unwanted emotional spots that I want to totally let go. And even if it hurts, I'll continue on with the rest of the story.
The last 5 months after that awful discovery were focused on Church matters. A member of the Church for 22 years (at that time), I always knew that for him to be cleansed from his transgression, he must undergo repentance. Repentance is a process by which we might receive the help we need to cleanse ourselves and to make the necessary corrections. It is a gift from our Heavenly Father.When the irregularity has been major, however, the Church court system plays an important role in helping the transgressor find his way back.
The first process of repentance is recognition of the sin, meaning someone who have committed a sin should accept freely that he have sinned. I still remember him saying, "I didn't do any crime.....I didn't kill anyone". I couldn't believed he said that! How can he not acknowledge the gravity of the sin? Or maybe he was confused. Okay, now, I want to make myself believe he's just confused at that time.
The next process is to feel sorrow for the sin. Again, he reiterated, "I don't feel any remorse". As fresh as maybe 2-3 days, the sin of adultery and its impact haven't sunk in to his nerves. By the way, the affair started 1999. I discovered it 2002.
Confession is next. Now comes the challenge. How can he confess if he can't even recognize the sin? I talked to him about going to the Bishop and make necessary confession but it seems like he didn't have any plan at all. Everyday we have to argue about him going to see the bishop but he will not go. After a week of waiting and observing, he haven't gone to the Bishop yet. So I decided to do the confession for him. I met with my Bishop, Willy Estella and told him I have something to divulge. Crying infront of him, I narrated the whole story and you know what he said? He said I wasn't doing the right thing. He acknowledged my pain but not the part where I have to "confess" for him. He said if Bong really wants to repent, he should come see him and make a "personal appearance". And so, after how many days more, came that night when he has to face reality. My innocent, young daughters and I accompanied him to Marulas (Valenzuela, Metro Manila) chapel, just a few kilometers from home. Their encounter wasn't a brief one. My youngest daughter fell asleep while we waited for the verdict. Nope, there wasn't a verdict yet. He has to undergo Church Court for either excommunication or being disfellowshiped. I will not discuss further the difference between these two but it's sufficient for me to say that both ways, he will be given the chance to repent and be cleansed from sin.
Restitution is the next step. My bishop, being a friend and a confidante, told me "it seems like your husband doesn't have any plans for any restitution. In my interview, he said, 'if Ginalyn will forgive me, then fine. If not, then it's ok'. He said he doesn't have any plans for you". Ouch, that hurts! And true to his words, the next few days and weeks and months were HELL. To enumerate what he did (or 'dids'? because there were many, LOL!) is not part of this chapter, nor the next chapters because I couldn't exactly remember them. All of those things were written in detail in my journals and they're safely kept at home. Those will be my treasured memories of the past and I will pass on to the next generation for them to see how their grandmother or great grandmother struggled but undefeated.
Forgiving others is also another step. I'm not sure if who he will forgive that time. Me? Himself? Arlene?.....ooooops!..........I will leave this matter to him.
Lastly, forsaking the sin. Let me leave this last step as the next topic for my blog,
The stake presidency's decision was handed to him personally by Bishop Willy. It was written in black and white. And I cannot write them here because I couldn't remember the exact words. But I will surely tell you the verdict.
From September to December, I've lost a great deal of 12 kilos. Wow, what a cruel way to lose weight! And losing weight did mean, I can wear all the sexy dresses I wanted. And, unconsciously, I started competing with the unknown. I became self-conscious. I started going to the parlor, straightening (and even colored) my hair, had my manicure and pedicure done and all those girly stuff, worn accessories and make up and became a fashion addict, which I neglected doing or should I say, maintaining, during those times when I was "just a plain housewife". I was only 31 then. And did it ever cross my mind to get even? That's the "exciting" part.....suddenly, when I "evolved" into a better me came temptations. Did I post a shoutout that I am undergoing a major emotional repair? Did I tell everyone that I am about to explode because my man was womanizing? Thanks, God, FB doesn't exists that time!........There were phone calls from former classmates, acquaintances and strangers. How did they get my phone number? It's the same old number I used since the cellphone was discovered! So everybody knows my number and there was one time when Bong answered my phone and it was Cholo (Ostrea), a classmate wayback our nursing student days on the line. He just dropped by to say hello and wa-la, Bong thought I was flirting and I have an affair! Funny, huh! Now, it's me who has an affair! Did it bother me? A big NO, malinis ang kunsensiya ko! (My conscience is clear!) But, let me set things straight, I wasn't perfect. I have pitfalls, but I did my very best to be the best wife and mom I could ever be. When I asked Bong what I have done wrong to deserve all these, he said, "Sobra kang naging mabait, Gie." Was I? Was I too kind enough that I deserve all these? Oh, well, maybe it's a disadvantage, too. Guys, what can you say?
To wrap it up, he was finally disfellowshipped. I don't know why but as I said earlier, it doesn't matter if he have undergone excommunication or just being disfellowshipped. What is more important is to see him on the path to repentance and proper cleansing. The first Sunday he didn't partake of the sacrament, I was quietly crying. I couldn't hold on my tears to see him that way. And up to this time that I am writing this, there's this little pinch in my heart as I recall those gloomy days........
Just a little correction, I have nothing against those who are either by choice or left with no choice, becoming a plain housewife. Given the chance, I love to stay at home and do what all wondermoms and wonderwives do to make their homes a bit of heaven on earth. After all, she who rocks the cradle rule the world.
The last 5 months after that awful discovery were focused on Church matters. A member of the Church for 22 years (at that time), I always knew that for him to be cleansed from his transgression, he must undergo repentance. Repentance is a process by which we might receive the help we need to cleanse ourselves and to make the necessary corrections. It is a gift from our Heavenly Father.When the irregularity has been major, however, the Church court system plays an important role in helping the transgressor find his way back.
The first process of repentance is recognition of the sin, meaning someone who have committed a sin should accept freely that he have sinned. I still remember him saying, "I didn't do any crime.....I didn't kill anyone". I couldn't believed he said that! How can he not acknowledge the gravity of the sin? Or maybe he was confused. Okay, now, I want to make myself believe he's just confused at that time.
The next process is to feel sorrow for the sin. Again, he reiterated, "I don't feel any remorse". As fresh as maybe 2-3 days, the sin of adultery and its impact haven't sunk in to his nerves. By the way, the affair started 1999. I discovered it 2002.
Confession is next. Now comes the challenge. How can he confess if he can't even recognize the sin? I talked to him about going to the Bishop and make necessary confession but it seems like he didn't have any plan at all. Everyday we have to argue about him going to see the bishop but he will not go. After a week of waiting and observing, he haven't gone to the Bishop yet. So I decided to do the confession for him. I met with my Bishop, Willy Estella and told him I have something to divulge. Crying infront of him, I narrated the whole story and you know what he said? He said I wasn't doing the right thing. He acknowledged my pain but not the part where I have to "confess" for him. He said if Bong really wants to repent, he should come see him and make a "personal appearance". And so, after how many days more, came that night when he has to face reality. My innocent, young daughters and I accompanied him to Marulas (Valenzuela, Metro Manila) chapel, just a few kilometers from home. Their encounter wasn't a brief one. My youngest daughter fell asleep while we waited for the verdict. Nope, there wasn't a verdict yet. He has to undergo Church Court for either excommunication or being disfellowshiped. I will not discuss further the difference between these two but it's sufficient for me to say that both ways, he will be given the chance to repent and be cleansed from sin.
Restitution is the next step. My bishop, being a friend and a confidante, told me "it seems like your husband doesn't have any plans for any restitution. In my interview, he said, 'if Ginalyn will forgive me, then fine. If not, then it's ok'. He said he doesn't have any plans for you". Ouch, that hurts! And true to his words, the next few days and weeks and months were HELL. To enumerate what he did (or 'dids'? because there were many, LOL!) is not part of this chapter, nor the next chapters because I couldn't exactly remember them. All of those things were written in detail in my journals and they're safely kept at home. Those will be my treasured memories of the past and I will pass on to the next generation for them to see how their grandmother or great grandmother struggled but undefeated.
Forgiving others is also another step. I'm not sure if who he will forgive that time. Me? Himself? Arlene?.....ooooops!..........I will leave this matter to him.
Lastly, forsaking the sin. Let me leave this last step as the next topic for my blog,
The stake presidency's decision was handed to him personally by Bishop Willy. It was written in black and white. And I cannot write them here because I couldn't remember the exact words. But I will surely tell you the verdict.
From September to December, I've lost a great deal of 12 kilos. Wow, what a cruel way to lose weight! And losing weight did mean, I can wear all the sexy dresses I wanted. And, unconsciously, I started competing with the unknown. I became self-conscious. I started going to the parlor, straightening (and even colored) my hair, had my manicure and pedicure done and all those girly stuff, worn accessories and make up and became a fashion addict, which I neglected doing or should I say, maintaining, during those times when I was "just a plain housewife". I was only 31 then. And did it ever cross my mind to get even? That's the "exciting" part.....suddenly, when I "evolved" into a better me came temptations. Did I post a shoutout that I am undergoing a major emotional repair? Did I tell everyone that I am about to explode because my man was womanizing? Thanks, God, FB doesn't exists that time!........There were phone calls from former classmates, acquaintances and strangers. How did they get my phone number? It's the same old number I used since the cellphone was discovered! So everybody knows my number and there was one time when Bong answered my phone and it was Cholo (Ostrea), a classmate wayback our nursing student days on the line. He just dropped by to say hello and wa-la, Bong thought I was flirting and I have an affair! Funny, huh! Now, it's me who has an affair! Did it bother me? A big NO, malinis ang kunsensiya ko! (My conscience is clear!) But, let me set things straight, I wasn't perfect. I have pitfalls, but I did my very best to be the best wife and mom I could ever be. When I asked Bong what I have done wrong to deserve all these, he said, "Sobra kang naging mabait, Gie." Was I? Was I too kind enough that I deserve all these? Oh, well, maybe it's a disadvantage, too. Guys, what can you say?
To wrap it up, he was finally disfellowshipped. I don't know why but as I said earlier, it doesn't matter if he have undergone excommunication or just being disfellowshipped. What is more important is to see him on the path to repentance and proper cleansing. The first Sunday he didn't partake of the sacrament, I was quietly crying. I couldn't hold on my tears to see him that way. And up to this time that I am writing this, there's this little pinch in my heart as I recall those gloomy days........
Just a little correction, I have nothing against those who are either by choice or left with no choice, becoming a plain housewife. Given the chance, I love to stay at home and do what all wondermoms and wonderwives do to make their homes a bit of heaven on earth. After all, she who rocks the cradle rule the world.
12.16.2010
The Betrayal: How I Finally Discovered
It wasn't really my intention to write everything about me. More so about my detailed past, but there is one thing that made me decide otherwise.
Last night, a friend called me at the wee hour of the day, that time when I was about to tuck myself in bed and thought that she was just fooling around to let me know she've found a new, fabulous, wonderful link at FB and can't wait another 6 hours to share it with me. But to my surprise, there were sobbings and crying over the phone while she's narrating what she've just discovered. She said that her boyfriend is having an affair! As I listen to her, I thought I saw myself in her. Her pain made me travel back in time.
August 8, 2002. Started that day with no thought that it'll be one of those days I will never forget in my entire life. The phone rang at about 8am. It's the husband on the line. He's at work and started his duty at 6am. He greeted me with the usual "Hi, Gie" and I answered with the usual "Hi, Papi". That wasn't our term of endearment. Instead, that's how our kids call him and it's "cute" to call him that way, too. He said he wanted to go to Tagaytay City after work. Tagaytay is one of the most oft visited cities in the south because of its cool climate and its breathtaking scenic views, including the Taal Volcano and Taal Lake. He said he will be with Marcus, a colleague at the Manila Diamond Hotel, where he worked as a Front Desk Supervisor. Marcus has a grandmother living alone in her beautiful house in Tagaytay and "she cooks good egg omelet". I don't know exactly what's the difference between my way of cooking egg omelet and hers but he said, it's one of those he misses about Marcus' granny.
As lax as I am as a not-so-insecured plain housewife, I gave my permission. After all, I knew he needed a break from being a father, a husband, an employee, an Institute teacher, a High Councilman. I believed he deserve this little break from home, church and work thing. He said he might spend the night there. In my own point of view, I never percieved anything wrong with him spending a night with a male colleague, not to mention the old woman who will accomodate them overnight.
Nothing came to my mind after that phone call. Continued on with my routine, brought my eldest daughter to school after lunch (she's on an afternoon session) and went back home ready for an afternoon nap with my then 2 year-old knycole. But there was, however, a gut feeling or should I say, in a more spiritual manner, that there was a still small voice that whispered to me, "Call Marcus". I was hesitant at first, knowing that to call him would imply one thing- that I don't trust my husband. But the feeling was so strong that I grabbed my phone book and searched Marcus' cellphone number. He picked up this phone after maybe 4 or 5 rings. As fast as I could, I said, "Hi, Marcus. This is Ginalyn. Bong (the nickname) told me he will be with you later tonight? In Tagaytay? With your grandmother?" As innocent as he was, he said, "I'm on vacation, Ginalyn. Been here in Cavite (City) for 5 days now". I was stunned! But I immediately composed myself then asked foolishly, "Is Tagaytay in Cavite? (referring to the city where he was)". He laughed and informatively told me, "Yes, but it is at least an hour ride from my place". Tagaytay is located in the province of Cavite and Cavite City is one of the cities of Cavite province and is, as Marcus said, at least an hour drive to Tagaytay. So my question still made sense. Then I asked again one more time, "So he will not be with you tonight?" Sensing maybe that I'm not merely asking a question, he told me, "Yeah, Bong and I wanted to spend a night in Tagaytay but not tonight". "Oh I see, Thank you, Marcus" were my last words. Bothered and confused, I again picked up the phone and called his mother. Yes, HIS mother, my mother-in-law. Why her? I was confused and I thought that if she'll be the first to know, she would give me an uplifting advice, you know, to erase the doubts. After all, he's her son! She might want to save him and incarcerate me for not trusting my husband completely. So upon hearing her say "Hello", I immediately narrated to her what I just discovered. But have I discovered anything yet? Yes, I did! I discovered that HE WAS LYING!
My mother-in-law's answer was so straightforward as if she didn't think a sec and told me, "Me babae yan, Ginalyn". (She has an affair, Ginalyn). Until now, I really don't know what crossed her mind why she told me that "joke"; yes I want to say she was just joking, although she never joked with me. Not that I can recall. I didn't know if she really mean what she just said but I stood there holding the phone listening to what she further divulged but nor understanding really what she's saying. Did I cry? No, I didn't. Not yet.
I waited for Bong to come home that night. But he didn't come home. Instead he made a call at 8pm and told me he's with Marcus in Tagaytay. But he was not with Marcus! Marcus was in Cavite! For hours of meditating what to say or do, I firmly said, "Come home, Rommel. I already knew what you are into". Caught unaware, he hanged up the phone. I tried to call him back but he didn't answer. So I texted and insisted him to go home ASAP. But he didn't reply to any of my text messages. But why did I want him to come home that night? Because I want to know the truth! From Him! Right at that moment! But he didn't show up that night. As furious as I was, I was also worried. What if I am wrong? Or what if it is true? No, I don't want to know! Yes, I want to know!..... No, I don't. Yes, I wanted to know! And finally, yes, I wanted to know the whole truth! Nothing but the truth. That night, I tried to be strong and composed and stayed sane and believing on the covenants I made with him in the temple. I should be wrong! I MUST be wrong!
Seven o'clock in the morning the next day, staff from the hotel called on the landline inquiring if he's at home and why he didn't show up for duty that day. I said he didn't come home, nor bother to make a call or sent a text message so I don't know where he was. He's now on AWOL status. I was terribly tortured! Was he alive yet? Was he with his other woman? Would there be another life without him? How about me? My kids? They're very young and I am jobless! What am I to do? Oh, God, please show thyself to me and tell me what to do, were my pleadings! I thought I'm going crazy. But I didn't allow my sanity be taken away from me that early. I have kids and I knew they need me.
That same day after lunch, I again brought Kryztl to school then tucked my baby Knycole in bed for a nap when I heard the door at the 1st floor opened. It's him! I couldn't remember exactly how I felt that time, especially when I heard him walk through the stairs going to 2nd floor where I and my young daughter were. His countenance was so gloomy and sad and not with his usual festive spirit. He sat down on the floor and leaned on to our green sofa looking at me. I stood infront of him and with all my gathered, well rehearsed statement, pronounced: "MAY BABAE KA, ANO?" (Are you having an affair?). He didn't say a word. Instead he bowed his head that gave me the cue. IT WAS TRUE AFTER ALL. With all the strength, coupled with my adrenaline rush, spanked him on his right cheek while I was shouting at him asking, "SINO? SINO?" (Who is she? Who is she?) He was about to grab me but able to control himself which I am thankful for up to this day because should he'd assaulted me, I should have ended up with a blackeye. He stands at 6 feet so you could just imagine what I became should any part of my body was boxed with those hands. In fairness to him, he never physically battered me. Anyways, while I was confronting him, he took the remote control of the TV and put more volume to it so that our curious neighbors wouldn't hear what we argue about. But I didn't care anymore. What I wanted that very minute was the name of the other woman. He wasn't saying a word. It was me who made all the talking, as if all the respect was gone. Then came a name that he frequently made mention of for the past few months. She was a former "colleague" for at least 3 months at SM City North Edsa, one of the biggest malls in the Philippines, where he worked as a promo representative of Docker's. No, she's not a promo female rep. She's a saleslady there. And they met again after 6 years at Light Rail Transit (LRT) Monumento Station and that's how they've rekindled the past, whatever past that was! When I mentioned her name, he didn't confirm nor deny. Used my common sense, I knew then that she's The other woman. Then came questions that I should not have uttered and I won't write it in here because it's for" adults only". The next few minutes and hours and days and weeks and months were tears and agony until finally, the separation.
So what's my point in sharing to the world about my side of the story?....... Nothing really! I'm just sharing.....and hoping that the women who have undergone the same painful experience as I did will know that they are not alone. And that after the experience evolved a better me. 'Tho I wasn't thankful it happened, I still thank him for letting me see the other side of this world. After 8 years, I can say that the wound have totally healed. Seems like you don't believe me? Open my FB account and check on my profile pic and let me know what you think.
P.S. Would you like to know the name of that girl? Or does it matter? There's more to my story than the name of that girl, like my next discovery - the other, other girl I saw with my own two eyes......and she's pregnant! Till next blog......
Last night, a friend called me at the wee hour of the day, that time when I was about to tuck myself in bed and thought that she was just fooling around to let me know she've found a new, fabulous, wonderful link at FB and can't wait another 6 hours to share it with me. But to my surprise, there were sobbings and crying over the phone while she's narrating what she've just discovered. She said that her boyfriend is having an affair! As I listen to her, I thought I saw myself in her. Her pain made me travel back in time.
August 8, 2002. Started that day with no thought that it'll be one of those days I will never forget in my entire life. The phone rang at about 8am. It's the husband on the line. He's at work and started his duty at 6am. He greeted me with the usual "Hi, Gie" and I answered with the usual "Hi, Papi". That wasn't our term of endearment. Instead, that's how our kids call him and it's "cute" to call him that way, too. He said he wanted to go to Tagaytay City after work. Tagaytay is one of the most oft visited cities in the south because of its cool climate and its breathtaking scenic views, including the Taal Volcano and Taal Lake. He said he will be with Marcus, a colleague at the Manila Diamond Hotel, where he worked as a Front Desk Supervisor. Marcus has a grandmother living alone in her beautiful house in Tagaytay and "she cooks good egg omelet". I don't know exactly what's the difference between my way of cooking egg omelet and hers but he said, it's one of those he misses about Marcus' granny.
As lax as I am as a not-so-insecured plain housewife, I gave my permission. After all, I knew he needed a break from being a father, a husband, an employee, an Institute teacher, a High Councilman. I believed he deserve this little break from home, church and work thing. He said he might spend the night there. In my own point of view, I never percieved anything wrong with him spending a night with a male colleague, not to mention the old woman who will accomodate them overnight.
Nothing came to my mind after that phone call. Continued on with my routine, brought my eldest daughter to school after lunch (she's on an afternoon session) and went back home ready for an afternoon nap with my then 2 year-old knycole. But there was, however, a gut feeling or should I say, in a more spiritual manner, that there was a still small voice that whispered to me, "Call Marcus". I was hesitant at first, knowing that to call him would imply one thing- that I don't trust my husband. But the feeling was so strong that I grabbed my phone book and searched Marcus' cellphone number. He picked up this phone after maybe 4 or 5 rings. As fast as I could, I said, "Hi, Marcus. This is Ginalyn. Bong (the nickname) told me he will be with you later tonight? In Tagaytay? With your grandmother?" As innocent as he was, he said, "I'm on vacation, Ginalyn. Been here in Cavite (City) for 5 days now". I was stunned! But I immediately composed myself then asked foolishly, "Is Tagaytay in Cavite? (referring to the city where he was)". He laughed and informatively told me, "Yes, but it is at least an hour ride from my place". Tagaytay is located in the province of Cavite and Cavite City is one of the cities of Cavite province and is, as Marcus said, at least an hour drive to Tagaytay. So my question still made sense. Then I asked again one more time, "So he will not be with you tonight?" Sensing maybe that I'm not merely asking a question, he told me, "Yeah, Bong and I wanted to spend a night in Tagaytay but not tonight". "Oh I see, Thank you, Marcus" were my last words. Bothered and confused, I again picked up the phone and called his mother. Yes, HIS mother, my mother-in-law. Why her? I was confused and I thought that if she'll be the first to know, she would give me an uplifting advice, you know, to erase the doubts. After all, he's her son! She might want to save him and incarcerate me for not trusting my husband completely. So upon hearing her say "Hello", I immediately narrated to her what I just discovered. But have I discovered anything yet? Yes, I did! I discovered that HE WAS LYING!
My mother-in-law's answer was so straightforward as if she didn't think a sec and told me, "Me babae yan, Ginalyn". (She has an affair, Ginalyn). Until now, I really don't know what crossed her mind why she told me that "joke"; yes I want to say she was just joking, although she never joked with me. Not that I can recall. I didn't know if she really mean what she just said but I stood there holding the phone listening to what she further divulged but nor understanding really what she's saying. Did I cry? No, I didn't. Not yet.
I waited for Bong to come home that night. But he didn't come home. Instead he made a call at 8pm and told me he's with Marcus in Tagaytay. But he was not with Marcus! Marcus was in Cavite! For hours of meditating what to say or do, I firmly said, "Come home, Rommel. I already knew what you are into". Caught unaware, he hanged up the phone. I tried to call him back but he didn't answer. So I texted and insisted him to go home ASAP. But he didn't reply to any of my text messages. But why did I want him to come home that night? Because I want to know the truth! From Him! Right at that moment! But he didn't show up that night. As furious as I was, I was also worried. What if I am wrong? Or what if it is true? No, I don't want to know! Yes, I want to know!..... No, I don't. Yes, I wanted to know! And finally, yes, I wanted to know the whole truth! Nothing but the truth. That night, I tried to be strong and composed and stayed sane and believing on the covenants I made with him in the temple. I should be wrong! I MUST be wrong!
Seven o'clock in the morning the next day, staff from the hotel called on the landline inquiring if he's at home and why he didn't show up for duty that day. I said he didn't come home, nor bother to make a call or sent a text message so I don't know where he was. He's now on AWOL status. I was terribly tortured! Was he alive yet? Was he with his other woman? Would there be another life without him? How about me? My kids? They're very young and I am jobless! What am I to do? Oh, God, please show thyself to me and tell me what to do, were my pleadings! I thought I'm going crazy. But I didn't allow my sanity be taken away from me that early. I have kids and I knew they need me.
That same day after lunch, I again brought Kryztl to school then tucked my baby Knycole in bed for a nap when I heard the door at the 1st floor opened. It's him! I couldn't remember exactly how I felt that time, especially when I heard him walk through the stairs going to 2nd floor where I and my young daughter were. His countenance was so gloomy and sad and not with his usual festive spirit. He sat down on the floor and leaned on to our green sofa looking at me. I stood infront of him and with all my gathered, well rehearsed statement, pronounced: "MAY BABAE KA, ANO?" (Are you having an affair?). He didn't say a word. Instead he bowed his head that gave me the cue. IT WAS TRUE AFTER ALL. With all the strength, coupled with my adrenaline rush, spanked him on his right cheek while I was shouting at him asking, "SINO? SINO?" (Who is she? Who is she?) He was about to grab me but able to control himself which I am thankful for up to this day because should he'd assaulted me, I should have ended up with a blackeye. He stands at 6 feet so you could just imagine what I became should any part of my body was boxed with those hands. In fairness to him, he never physically battered me. Anyways, while I was confronting him, he took the remote control of the TV and put more volume to it so that our curious neighbors wouldn't hear what we argue about. But I didn't care anymore. What I wanted that very minute was the name of the other woman. He wasn't saying a word. It was me who made all the talking, as if all the respect was gone. Then came a name that he frequently made mention of for the past few months. She was a former "colleague" for at least 3 months at SM City North Edsa, one of the biggest malls in the Philippines, where he worked as a promo representative of Docker's. No, she's not a promo female rep. She's a saleslady there. And they met again after 6 years at Light Rail Transit (LRT) Monumento Station and that's how they've rekindled the past, whatever past that was! When I mentioned her name, he didn't confirm nor deny. Used my common sense, I knew then that she's The other woman. Then came questions that I should not have uttered and I won't write it in here because it's for" adults only". The next few minutes and hours and days and weeks and months were tears and agony until finally, the separation.
So what's my point in sharing to the world about my side of the story?....... Nothing really! I'm just sharing.....and hoping that the women who have undergone the same painful experience as I did will know that they are not alone. And that after the experience evolved a better me. 'Tho I wasn't thankful it happened, I still thank him for letting me see the other side of this world. After 8 years, I can say that the wound have totally healed. Seems like you don't believe me? Open my FB account and check on my profile pic and let me know what you think.
P.S. Would you like to know the name of that girl? Or does it matter? There's more to my story than the name of that girl, like my next discovery - the other, other girl I saw with my own two eyes......and she's pregnant! Till next blog......
12.14.2010
Status: MARRIED
In the nursing profession, we have lots of choices. A registered nurse, meaning a graduate of a 4-year Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BSN) and passed the Nursing Board given by the Philippine Regulation Commission (PRC) can start a career in the many fields of this branch of medicine. In my case, I first used my nursing know-how in PCDOM as a missionary sister with additional assignment. Some call us health sisters. For 10 months (which is very unusual for a missionary because ideally, during my time, we stay in a single area to a maximum of 6-8 months), I stayed in Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental and there, served three (3) wards - Patag, Bulua and Kauswagan. We have specific time to proselyte (finding people to teach) and at the same time, do some office work in the mission office with male missionaries we call elders. A certain elder named Elder Libria was at that time, worked as a supply manager. We were good friends with other elders in the office, including the assistants to the Mission president and the couple missionaries who regularly stay in the office. Part of my job was to travel with the mission president and his wife all over the northern coastline of Mindanao Island and its neighboring cities, did surprise apartment checks, gave gamma globulin shots to missionaries every 3 months, provided medical info and updates, orienting incoming missionaries of health hazards in the area and delivered medical missions. I believe one legacy my companion, Rose De Guzman and I left in Cagayan de Oro mission was our mission health booklet, that little red booklet we worked hard on to be printed for missionaries reference regarding health and other health matters. I still have a copy of this booklet with me. Kept it as a remembrance.
I officially started my nursing career, however, after my mission, at Bethany Hospital, an 80 bed capacity tertiary hospital in San Fernando, La Union, my hometown. For 3 months, I enjoyed attending duties maybe because at that time, I was also very much inspired. Yes, that was the time I was engaged to be married! Couldn't you imagine a young (?) 23 year old woman fresh from spiritual adventure, now starting a career and also focused to becoming a wife in few weeks? It was overwhelming! Yet, I knew what I wanted. I WANT TO BE MARRIED! To whom? To that supply manager I met in the mission! My family, more so, my father did not like the idea of me getting married very soon. He has other plans for me. But I was very starightforward in telling them, I want to settle down. See, I was hardheaded not giving heed to my father who said, "hindi porke gwapo me ibubuga". Let me translate that with more emphasis: LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING. Am I saying that the man I married to was handsome? Forgive me, everyone, but I will say this once and for all - HE WAS! You can tell by my daughter's looks. It runs in the genes. LOL. Besides, I am blessed with a 20/20 vision so I can tell what's the difference between handsome and merely good looking! Don't forget, I was at that time in seventh heaven! So please, don't say otherwise. But after 10 years, I could say, fathers know best!
I eventually resigned after 3 months of work at Bethany Hospital. Why? I said I'm going to get married. After the marriage ceremony, solemnized in the Manila Philippines Temple, October 16, 1993, I opted to stay with my husband in Valenzuela City, Metro Manila, a 5-6 hour ride via bus from my hometown. Abandoning everything, including that of my American dream, we started a family, a family that should have lasted til the eternities -an eternal family, where we can be together forever. Such a music to my ear! But eventually, that dream remained to be a dream!
Him, working as a promo representative of Dockers, under Levi's company and me as a plain housewife. Yes, you heard it right. A PLAIN HOUSEWIFE! Can you imagine how I must have looked physically staying at home 24/7, rearing my first baby, learning to cook, doing the laundry, cleaning the house, budgetting, etc. Not to mention the frightening thought of getting the approval of my in-laws! And did I get their approval? Haha, why not ask them?
Left with no choice, I decided to just enjoy being a mother and a wife. Afterall, it's every married woman's dream to stay at home to pamper their husband, serve them and their kids while preparing a sumptous meal and eating together after a child's angelic voice pronounced the blessing of the food, very well said as taught either by the excited father or the anxious mother then end the day with a family prayer. What an ideal family, indeed!
Kryztl, our firstborn, was a blessing and a joy. After 4 years, Knycole came and she added more to my joy! They both showed me the real meaning of the noun "motherhood'. Afterall, motherhood is the holiest thing alive. I thank them for giving me that opportunity to be "holy"! Did i regret it? No, I didn't. I was happy, I was contented, I was satisfied.........but I was betrayed! Not by my kids, but the father of my kids. How? Let me do that next time. By the way, the name of my daughter's father is Rommel.
I officially started my nursing career, however, after my mission, at Bethany Hospital, an 80 bed capacity tertiary hospital in San Fernando, La Union, my hometown. For 3 months, I enjoyed attending duties maybe because at that time, I was also very much inspired. Yes, that was the time I was engaged to be married! Couldn't you imagine a young (?) 23 year old woman fresh from spiritual adventure, now starting a career and also focused to becoming a wife in few weeks? It was overwhelming! Yet, I knew what I wanted. I WANT TO BE MARRIED! To whom? To that supply manager I met in the mission! My family, more so, my father did not like the idea of me getting married very soon. He has other plans for me. But I was very starightforward in telling them, I want to settle down. See, I was hardheaded not giving heed to my father who said, "hindi porke gwapo me ibubuga". Let me translate that with more emphasis: LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING. Am I saying that the man I married to was handsome? Forgive me, everyone, but I will say this once and for all - HE WAS! You can tell by my daughter's looks. It runs in the genes. LOL. Besides, I am blessed with a 20/20 vision so I can tell what's the difference between handsome and merely good looking! Don't forget, I was at that time in seventh heaven! So please, don't say otherwise. But after 10 years, I could say, fathers know best!
I eventually resigned after 3 months of work at Bethany Hospital. Why? I said I'm going to get married. After the marriage ceremony, solemnized in the Manila Philippines Temple, October 16, 1993, I opted to stay with my husband in Valenzuela City, Metro Manila, a 5-6 hour ride via bus from my hometown. Abandoning everything, including that of my American dream, we started a family, a family that should have lasted til the eternities -an eternal family, where we can be together forever. Such a music to my ear! But eventually, that dream remained to be a dream!
Him, working as a promo representative of Dockers, under Levi's company and me as a plain housewife. Yes, you heard it right. A PLAIN HOUSEWIFE! Can you imagine how I must have looked physically staying at home 24/7, rearing my first baby, learning to cook, doing the laundry, cleaning the house, budgetting, etc. Not to mention the frightening thought of getting the approval of my in-laws! And did I get their approval? Haha, why not ask them?
Left with no choice, I decided to just enjoy being a mother and a wife. Afterall, it's every married woman's dream to stay at home to pamper their husband, serve them and their kids while preparing a sumptous meal and eating together after a child's angelic voice pronounced the blessing of the food, very well said as taught either by the excited father or the anxious mother then end the day with a family prayer. What an ideal family, indeed!
Kryztl, our firstborn, was a blessing and a joy. After 4 years, Knycole came and she added more to my joy! They both showed me the real meaning of the noun "motherhood'. Afterall, motherhood is the holiest thing alive. I thank them for giving me that opportunity to be "holy"! Did i regret it? No, I didn't. I was happy, I was contented, I was satisfied.........but I was betrayed! Not by my kids, but the father of my kids. How? Let me do that next time. By the way, the name of my daughter's father is Rommel.
12.13.2010
How I Found My Church
One of my anxieties when I arrived in KSA is where to find my Church. Rhaponzolo Chansing, a friend and a missionmate, who worked here in Saudi and is now based in Canada, emailed me weeks before my departure that a Church exists near my place. The issue is, this is Saudi Arabia!
My arrival at Dammam Medical Complex was filled with fear and negativity. The only positive force that drove me to stay put with my decision is the knowledge that I will someday find the warm embrace of a Church I sticked on to and the soon-to-be fellowship of the members who do believe in the same Gospel I have testified to be true.
But things didn't start out right as I expect it to be. I was left hanging who to contact, where to go and what to do - spiritual matter-wise. Now came the challenge. Ma'am Carmen, a Filipina and one of our nursing educators at DMC, in her serene, happy countenance equipped with a positive outlook in life became a confidante and helped us overcome our "fears". No sooner than we became friends, she then invited us over to their congregation. This is another sect who believe in God, in Jesus Christ, as the Savior and the Redeemer. Who doesn't need a spiritual strength at the time we were starting a career in a country who don't believe in the same God I have worshipped my whole life? I do. And the invitation paved the way for me and three other friends, to consistently attend their Church, while I wait for the time I find mine. Honestly, the first time was quite an experience! The warm welcome, smiles, hugs and fellowship was overwhelming. We were even asked to stand infront to introduce ourselves and to "bear our testimonies". I cried when I shared mine. I started with, "I admire you, people, who've exerted your efforts to gather together to worship Jesus Christ in this place who do not believe in the Savior". They were clapping their hands and saying "Praise the Lord" while I speak.
Now, if you're to ask me, did I REALLY enjoy their congregation? Admittedly,I did! But in my heart, I am missing something and I exactly knew what that was. You call me self righteous but those were the times I never faltered to ask and plead to a Father in Heaven to help me find my Church. And did He give me a quick answer? No, He didn't. It took me another week when I finally got in touch with Alvin, a former colleague and a member of my Church. He gave me names and phone numbers to contact so I could finally go to Church. But as I said, this is Saudi Arabia! Not much freedom when it comes to religion and (and women driving) so I patiently waited. I even started re-evaluating myself how worthy I am to deserve such a blessing. On my 3rd week, I was contacted by sisters who arranged my ride. Unfortunately, no one was available to come pick me up. I was already on my 4th week and I felt a little depressed that no one seem to care. Then on a late Thursday afternoon, a woman with a British accent gave me a call asking my address and arranged for my ride the next day, Friday. I still remember the excitement and how I hurried up to iron my clothes in preparation for the Sabbath. The next day, I woke up very early to prepare myself for my very first real worship in the middle east.
October 1, 2010, at 9 a.m., a British family showed up in their white Hyundai. We agreed to meet infront of the Medical Tower, which is the best landmark I could give since I haven't familiarized myself with the streets near my place. (Until now, I only knew one street - Al Mustashfa St. Mustashfa, meaning hospital). A white man in his white polo and black pants, standing near his car was waving his hands when I saw him few meters from the main building of the hospital where I work and where I was standing waiting for them. By the way, I don't live IN the hospital; instead in the hostel at the back of this 6 story building where I stood waiting. And today, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Jackie and Lee who have exerted their effort to pick me up that day. I've never told you, guys how grateful I am for showing up that morning. (Thank you also, Hyundai for installing a navigator, they found me). Indeed, the feeling of "no longer a stranger but fellowcitizens unto the Saints" was true to that day I entered a place of worship and shook hands with members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
My arrival at Dammam Medical Complex was filled with fear and negativity. The only positive force that drove me to stay put with my decision is the knowledge that I will someday find the warm embrace of a Church I sticked on to and the soon-to-be fellowship of the members who do believe in the same Gospel I have testified to be true.
But things didn't start out right as I expect it to be. I was left hanging who to contact, where to go and what to do - spiritual matter-wise. Now came the challenge. Ma'am Carmen, a Filipina and one of our nursing educators at DMC, in her serene, happy countenance equipped with a positive outlook in life became a confidante and helped us overcome our "fears". No sooner than we became friends, she then invited us over to their congregation. This is another sect who believe in God, in Jesus Christ, as the Savior and the Redeemer. Who doesn't need a spiritual strength at the time we were starting a career in a country who don't believe in the same God I have worshipped my whole life? I do. And the invitation paved the way for me and three other friends, to consistently attend their Church, while I wait for the time I find mine. Honestly, the first time was quite an experience! The warm welcome, smiles, hugs and fellowship was overwhelming. We were even asked to stand infront to introduce ourselves and to "bear our testimonies". I cried when I shared mine. I started with, "I admire you, people, who've exerted your efforts to gather together to worship Jesus Christ in this place who do not believe in the Savior". They were clapping their hands and saying "Praise the Lord" while I speak.
Now, if you're to ask me, did I REALLY enjoy their congregation? Admittedly,I did! But in my heart, I am missing something and I exactly knew what that was. You call me self righteous but those were the times I never faltered to ask and plead to a Father in Heaven to help me find my Church. And did He give me a quick answer? No, He didn't. It took me another week when I finally got in touch with Alvin, a former colleague and a member of my Church. He gave me names and phone numbers to contact so I could finally go to Church. But as I said, this is Saudi Arabia! Not much freedom when it comes to religion and (and women driving) so I patiently waited. I even started re-evaluating myself how worthy I am to deserve such a blessing. On my 3rd week, I was contacted by sisters who arranged my ride. Unfortunately, no one was available to come pick me up. I was already on my 4th week and I felt a little depressed that no one seem to care. Then on a late Thursday afternoon, a woman with a British accent gave me a call asking my address and arranged for my ride the next day, Friday. I still remember the excitement and how I hurried up to iron my clothes in preparation for the Sabbath. The next day, I woke up very early to prepare myself for my very first real worship in the middle east.
October 1, 2010, at 9 a.m., a British family showed up in their white Hyundai. We agreed to meet infront of the Medical Tower, which is the best landmark I could give since I haven't familiarized myself with the streets near my place. (Until now, I only knew one street - Al Mustashfa St. Mustashfa, meaning hospital). A white man in his white polo and black pants, standing near his car was waving his hands when I saw him few meters from the main building of the hospital where I work and where I was standing waiting for them. By the way, I don't live IN the hospital; instead in the hostel at the back of this 6 story building where I stood waiting. And today, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Jackie and Lee who have exerted their effort to pick me up that day. I've never told you, guys how grateful I am for showing up that morning. (Thank you also, Hyundai for installing a navigator, they found me). Indeed, the feeling of "no longer a stranger but fellowcitizens unto the Saints" was true to that day I entered a place of worship and shook hands with members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
12.11.2010
Blogging: I've Been Wanting To Do This
I was a very busy careerwoman and a mom. I'm one of those who value time the most. I believe it's a God-given gift that should not be taken granted of.
Prior to coming to Saudi Arabia, I engaged in doing business while I work as a Clinical Instructor at the University of Baguio. My job requires me to travel every 3 days, sometimes 6, to different areas of assignment, mostly an hour to a max of 8 hour-travel, depending on the area I am assigned at. I handle 10-12 students a day in an 8-hour rotation, orienting them of hospital set up, protocol, overseeing what they do in the clinical area, teaching and providing lectures, administer quizzes and exams. However, there's one thing I do in the area which was not included in our Clinical Teaching Plan- setting time to bond with my young students by simply talking to them. Most of the time, they would open up their emotional hang ups, their frustrations, their soon-to-be career, their expectations and dreams, their sorrows and joys, their experiences and even their lovelife. Few of them opened up the story of their lives from the beginning up to that point when they met me and an 8-hour duty wasn't enough. I guess, sometimes it's what they really needed- a listening ear and an understanding heart. Honestly, it's the one thing I miss about the Univesity of Baguio - those times I have to sit beside or infront of a student during evaluation time, that very time when I tell them my observations and uplift them by telling their potentials and not degrade them because they made a mistake or they did not behave properly during duty hours. The hugs, kisses and thank yous made me realized that at the end of the day, it's me who have learned a great deal from these young ones.
I am also a mother of two- Kryztl, 16 and Knycole, 12. The demand of being a mom and a full time employee, with some business on the side is not easy. It's even very frustrating at times. On my day off (which is only one day a week), my youngest daughter would often fret on me and wanting all my attention, without thinking how mommy must have worked so hard and must she been tired? She would want me to watch her favorite Barbie cartoons with her or listen to her story telling galore, while we lie down in bed, with her head laid on my left shoulder. She would demand for a kiss on her cheek every 15 minutes, and that's what made me shed tears when it popped up to my mind now that I am a million miles away from them. Kryztl, on the other hand wants a little privacy and the only time, which I guess was the most wonderful time I spent with her, was when we talk for hours before retiring to bed, telling me her ideologies, observations, dreams and fears and her frustrations. She's a good conversationalist and I enjoy those moments I spent privately with her.
I equally love my daughters. After all, the reason why I am here in the Middle East is for us to be geared up with our plans to migrate to Canada -so we could be physically together again. This "little sacrifice" was a mutual agreement between them and me. At their young age, I believe they have understood the purpose of me leaving them behind for the meantime. They did not ask me a single question why I am here and why they were left in the Philippines with their grandmother. With that foundation, I know we are heading towards our goal.
I do business to add up to our finances. It's where I met individuals from all walks of life. Needless to say, some of my acquiantances became my friends, some enemies. After all, when money is involve, anything can happen.
To balance my hectic schedule, I never neglected my spiritual needs. I am a Mormon, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Baptized 1979, with my dad. I was active for awhile but when he went to KSA, I was left hanging on my newfound belief (I was 9 years old at that time). My mom was a Catholic but soon baptized after a 3-year grueling investigation in the Church. And she was a convert! Then she was followed by my brothers and my sister. I thank my mom for bringing me back to Church.
After graduation from college, my dad insisted me to find a job and soon join my aunt (his sister) in the U.S. "where money is" for nurses. But I wanted so much to go on a mission. Left with two choices, it's my mom who mediated with my decision. I vividly remember her saying, "It's an opportunity of a lifetime. If you really want to serve, then go. Who knows? You might find the guy to marry in the mission?" It's was a joke that became a reality. Until now, she regretted that statement. Well, I will not write the tale of how I found the guy to marry and soon, left me and my kids. But I may do it sometime, when I get the nerve to relive the pain and the inspiration to share what I learned from that experience.
So I was called to serve in the Philippines Cagayan de Oro Mission in the island of Mindanao, served for 1 year and 7 months, got married after 6 months, built a family for 10 years and left alone with my 2 kids for the next 8 years, but with in that time, never faltered with my belief. I continued on with my spiritual foundation that I belong to the true Church of God and the Gospel would bring me to a highest degree of happiness IF I endure well my mortal existence. My Church callings made me a better person. Serving in the ward and stake level have given me the opportunity to level up my potential. I never regretted the time, efforts, money, talents, that I invested in my Church.
So what inspired me to do blog? Yesterday, I read from one of my friends FB shoutouts: I want to do blogging. And I told myself, why not me? I have all the time to do facebooking, why not blogging? It's been an interest wayback when I heard of the word BLOG and have read many blogs; yet, time-wise, I was deprived. Now that I've been bestowed with time (less 8-9 hours for my duty), I believe I can spend at least 2 hours the most to compose my thoughts to update and share what I experienced, what I feel, learned or relearned, what's in my mind, and what I expect. And I hope this is a good start.
Prior to coming to Saudi Arabia, I engaged in doing business while I work as a Clinical Instructor at the University of Baguio. My job requires me to travel every 3 days, sometimes 6, to different areas of assignment, mostly an hour to a max of 8 hour-travel, depending on the area I am assigned at. I handle 10-12 students a day in an 8-hour rotation, orienting them of hospital set up, protocol, overseeing what they do in the clinical area, teaching and providing lectures, administer quizzes and exams. However, there's one thing I do in the area which was not included in our Clinical Teaching Plan- setting time to bond with my young students by simply talking to them. Most of the time, they would open up their emotional hang ups, their frustrations, their soon-to-be career, their expectations and dreams, their sorrows and joys, their experiences and even their lovelife. Few of them opened up the story of their lives from the beginning up to that point when they met me and an 8-hour duty wasn't enough. I guess, sometimes it's what they really needed- a listening ear and an understanding heart. Honestly, it's the one thing I miss about the Univesity of Baguio - those times I have to sit beside or infront of a student during evaluation time, that very time when I tell them my observations and uplift them by telling their potentials and not degrade them because they made a mistake or they did not behave properly during duty hours. The hugs, kisses and thank yous made me realized that at the end of the day, it's me who have learned a great deal from these young ones.
I am also a mother of two- Kryztl, 16 and Knycole, 12. The demand of being a mom and a full time employee, with some business on the side is not easy. It's even very frustrating at times. On my day off (which is only one day a week), my youngest daughter would often fret on me and wanting all my attention, without thinking how mommy must have worked so hard and must she been tired? She would want me to watch her favorite Barbie cartoons with her or listen to her story telling galore, while we lie down in bed, with her head laid on my left shoulder. She would demand for a kiss on her cheek every 15 minutes, and that's what made me shed tears when it popped up to my mind now that I am a million miles away from them. Kryztl, on the other hand wants a little privacy and the only time, which I guess was the most wonderful time I spent with her, was when we talk for hours before retiring to bed, telling me her ideologies, observations, dreams and fears and her frustrations. She's a good conversationalist and I enjoy those moments I spent privately with her.
I equally love my daughters. After all, the reason why I am here in the Middle East is for us to be geared up with our plans to migrate to Canada -so we could be physically together again. This "little sacrifice" was a mutual agreement between them and me. At their young age, I believe they have understood the purpose of me leaving them behind for the meantime. They did not ask me a single question why I am here and why they were left in the Philippines with their grandmother. With that foundation, I know we are heading towards our goal.
I do business to add up to our finances. It's where I met individuals from all walks of life. Needless to say, some of my acquiantances became my friends, some enemies. After all, when money is involve, anything can happen.
To balance my hectic schedule, I never neglected my spiritual needs. I am a Mormon, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Baptized 1979, with my dad. I was active for awhile but when he went to KSA, I was left hanging on my newfound belief (I was 9 years old at that time). My mom was a Catholic but soon baptized after a 3-year grueling investigation in the Church. And she was a convert! Then she was followed by my brothers and my sister. I thank my mom for bringing me back to Church.
After graduation from college, my dad insisted me to find a job and soon join my aunt (his sister) in the U.S. "where money is" for nurses. But I wanted so much to go on a mission. Left with two choices, it's my mom who mediated with my decision. I vividly remember her saying, "It's an opportunity of a lifetime. If you really want to serve, then go. Who knows? You might find the guy to marry in the mission?" It's was a joke that became a reality. Until now, she regretted that statement. Well, I will not write the tale of how I found the guy to marry and soon, left me and my kids. But I may do it sometime, when I get the nerve to relive the pain and the inspiration to share what I learned from that experience.
So I was called to serve in the Philippines Cagayan de Oro Mission in the island of Mindanao, served for 1 year and 7 months, got married after 6 months, built a family for 10 years and left alone with my 2 kids for the next 8 years, but with in that time, never faltered with my belief. I continued on with my spiritual foundation that I belong to the true Church of God and the Gospel would bring me to a highest degree of happiness IF I endure well my mortal existence. My Church callings made me a better person. Serving in the ward and stake level have given me the opportunity to level up my potential. I never regretted the time, efforts, money, talents, that I invested in my Church.
So what inspired me to do blog? Yesterday, I read from one of my friends FB shoutouts: I want to do blogging. And I told myself, why not me? I have all the time to do facebooking, why not blogging? It's been an interest wayback when I heard of the word BLOG and have read many blogs; yet, time-wise, I was deprived. Now that I've been bestowed with time (less 8-9 hours for my duty), I believe I can spend at least 2 hours the most to compose my thoughts to update and share what I experienced, what I feel, learned or relearned, what's in my mind, and what I expect. And I hope this is a good start.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)