FULL THROTTLE: BEHIND THE SCENE

Having listened to Good Times with Mo (Twister) the Podcast inspired me to once again scribble my notes to writing significant events that transpired in my life. I would say, I am more of a story teller rather than a writer so let me tell you of a story that happened on a sunny day of July 16, 2011, a Saturday.

I got off from ICU 10 minutes past 8am from my usual 11pm-8am shift, worn out, exhausted and left weighing things over if I will push through with the planned activity with Aizza, a friend and a colleague; her Palestinian boyfriend, Muyyad and another close Filipino male friend and churchmate and confidante, Rico. I told myself that if Rico will back out and will tell me he's tired from work (he's from 12midnight-8am shift), then I, too will not go.

As soon as I arrived at my flat, I promptly grabbed my netbook and found Aizza online. It's her day off and told me via YM that everything was prepared including that of a car rented by Muyyad ready for this journey. Now, the final say: Rico has to tell me he's drop dead and freakin' tired he can't make it! Unexpectedly, it was the other way around! He texted that he's all dressed up for the "party" and was ready for this "once in a lifetime" adventure. Needless to say that I didn't give a second thought and proceeded with my usual immediate-after-duty bath and made ready for the late morning road trip.

It was quarter past 9am when Muyyad came in his rented Hyundai accent 2010 model. Packed with bottled water, our choice of junk foods and some pepsi in can, we jumped in the car and off we go. We proceeded to Rico's place who was at the pharmacy of Dammam Medical Dispensary waiting in his stunning yellow shirt. We were in our innate festive spirit as we greeted each other. We even bursted to laughter as we listen to each other's seemingly funny jokes. We were heading towards Khobar area while we listen to a variety of music provided by the local FM radio. Since we haven't had breakfast, we decided to stop over at a pastry store in Khobar, named Abumaheer. Pizza was also served there and cooked through a conventional oven so the crust was perfectly made. The toppings of our choices were simple- cheese, bacon and a variety of vegetables. The pizza comes with pastries. They also serve fresh juices. Muyyad ordered apple juice for all of us, of which I courteously declined because I never really drink apple juice before. By the way, I don't eat apple, that's why. But he insisted it was good and healthy. So Rico, Muyyad and I grabbed a medium sized apple juice while Aizza had melon juice. We also bought more soda in the same store. We then went back to the car sipping our juices in a minute or two because it was indeed one of the best we ever tasted! And so we continued on our journey towards the east where the only things we see were few cars and buildings, sand and the seas. Indeed, we're having a great time!


We actually planned to go visit Fanateer, near Jubail in the Eastern Region but according to Muyyad, it will take us few hours more at a speed of 140kph drive and it's already 10:30am! He was driving, by the way; Rico, at the passenger seat while Aizza and I were at the back seat. Aizza was busy taking video on her iPhone while sleep started creeping on me. I tried to stay awake, however, for me to witness the beauty of nature along the way. And along the way, we spotted a good place to stop over - a beach! We made a u-turn and unpacked our things in a shade built just along the shore. Of course, moment like this I really won't let it pass by without taking pictures. So I pulled out my 12.1 mp sony digicam from my pink Eastpack mailbag and started clicking on to the best and not so best poses I can capture.

We decided to frolick under the heat of the sun. But the Arabian sea was so inviting that Muyyad, who was, well, "not so well prepared", with his extra shirt and shorts, promptly removed his shirt and off he dipped into the sea. Aizza, being too adventurous at the age of 24, didn't think twice and ran a few meter towards the light blue sea in her pink shirt and dark green shorts and joined Muyyad. Rico was tempted to go after them but first asked me if it's ok to go swimming. I consented because I knew it was his dream to go swimming in Saudi Arabia and today his dream will be fulfilled! He didn't have extra shirt or shorts but he dive in anyway.

I was left on that shady place and thought of catching some sleep while they all swim. Muyyad brought a little pillow and a rectangular foamy bed which they call jambiah in Arabic. Not so tired, but a bit sleepy, I laid down on the jambiah, put my headset on, and listened to my favorite music on my MP4 at its almost maximum volume and under the scorching heat of the sun plus the humid wind that can blew all lightweight materials, tried to catch at least a quarter hour of a much deprived sleep but I just can't find the needed rest. So Instead of forcing myself to get sedated, I got up, took my cam and captured all our moments at the beach! No, I don't mean me swimming! I mean, I joined my friends at the beach on my long black leggings and pink Nike tee taking pictures, and I was all wet up to my knee high.


It took us at least an hour long on that part of our world. A world which we've felt wasn't the safest but a refuge from our freedomless environment. Honestly, we were afraid that if a Mottawa (a religious police) will see us going out with the opposite sex, not our husband or wife, then it'll be mushkeela (big problem) for all of us! More so, that we weren't on our abaya (the long black dress Arab women wear) while at the beach. If caught, we might end up in jail the least or be sent home the worst. But as "pasaway" as we are, or should I use the word DISOBEDIENT, or of its lightest counterpart "ADVENTUROUS", or say, DRIVEN (?) took all the risks of this travel and tried to live a real LIFE at that moment.


11:45am- we wanted more! A jet ski! So we left the place and wanted to drive farther for more thrill. But due to the heat, probably at a temperature of 45-48 degree celcius (113-118 in Fahrenheit), we all agreed to drop by at a nearby small supermarket, called Bacala, to get cold bottled water and more chips. Muyyad and myself got down from the car and we both entered the store and picked everything we needed. I wanted to pay but as gentleman as he is and always, he paid everything. When we're about to leave the place, two young men came near the store in their motorbike! Motorbikes are for rent in the nearby place and so, instead of pushing through with the jet ski plan, we all agreed to do motorbiking instead. Motorbikes are rented at 20 rials each. So we drove to that place and got more excited of our never ending fun and adventures. There were at least 50 motorbikes for rent and the old, skinny guy at the shady little hut who was in charge was awakened when we arrived. Muyyad talked to him in Arabic trying to get a discount but he didn't get any so he paid him 80 rials for the 4 of us and as soon as he got paid, I jumped off that elevated shady little dirty hut, chose one bike best suited for my size (there were small, medium and large sizes but for me, all were but one and the same, except maybe that some were new and some were kinda' well used) and tried it on the very first motorbike I saw. Rico got his and Muyyad also. Aizza was a bit hesitant to start hers so Muyyad has to orient her a bit with the mechanism of that little 3-wheeled vehicle. Me? The soonest I got into the bike, I started driving fast. But Muyyad stopped me and taught me to maneuver and all. So I restarted and drove fast-again! Rico was behind me, driving slowly and carefully. We're heading towards west where the strong wind was blowing sands and sands were getting into our eyes so we decided to go back. Still driving fast and Rico still behind me, I drove at my highest adrenaline level, imagining I am Angelina Jolie in the movie Salt (see how full of cracks I am?)! Rico warned me to take it slow but I was already set to driving swiftly. At the end of the road , I straightway made a left turn. It was too late to slow down and there it was! A wrong turn, indeed! The moment I turned left, I was outbalanced and fell from the motorbike and heard myself banged on the asphalted road. I rolled over and heard no more. Still conscious, however, I managed to get up as fast as I could but was dizzy and in so much pain. Rico and Muyyad came to my rescue. They asked if I'm ok and said I was, but I knew I'm not! They carried me to the car and we all left the place in no time. I was talking the whole time trying to stay alert and awake. But I started feeling cold and clammy. Rico, who looked anxious, afraid, confused and worried, said "you looked pale". I closed my eyes and made a quick physical assessment on myself, trying to remember all my readings and lectures on neurological nursing. I wasn't feeling dizzy or nauseated. But my left occipital area was soft to touch and in pain. My left leg was numbed. My left ankle was bruised and my left arm was swollen. Only then that worry enveloped me. Will I undergo CT scan? Do I have a skull fracture? Will I be able to walk again? How about my kids? As I looked at Rico who witnessed the whole thing and have seen it all, at Muyyad who suddenly became silent and at Aizza who was trying to be strong for all of us, only then that guilt encircled me. Muyyad said it was his fault bringing us to that place but no! It was mine, being too careless and aggressive. Aizza said it was her fault, too. Should she not insisted on the jetski, then we should not have ended motorbiking instead. Everybody now feels some degree of guilt but it's nobody's fault, I positively reiterated. It was an accident! But deep inside, I knew I was the culprit.

Muyyad, who suddenly changed from being jolly to gloomy, asked me which hospital we should go to. I told him to bring me to the hospital where Aizza and I work so I could get a sick leave. Aizza, who's sitting beside me on my right, was trying to withhold her tears. She've always been "soft" when it comes to emotions, contrary to what other people knew and think of her. And in the verge of my mishap, I was whispering at her giving her instructions not to tell anyone of the nature of my accident. I have personal reason, not work related, why I refused to let anyone knew about it and I refuse to write in this blog the reason behind the soon-to-be controversial story. And I beg my readers not to ask me about the matter.

We dropped by at a McDonald's store along the way. Muyyad works at McDonald's as a store manager and he knows almost all of the stores in the Eastern region having been assigned to different stores in this part of Saudi Arabia. He entered the store and came back with a bag of ice cubes. Immediately, I wrapped a fistful of ice cubes in my purple hand towel and placed it on my head. Couldn't feel any relief but I can feel the affected part getting a constricting sensation. I kept observing myself of any symptoms like nausea or any dizzy spells but after 30 minutes, I couldn't feel any neurological change. I knew I'm ok. Rico said he wanted to give me a blessing (of the sick) but can't at that moment. So I called my friend and Elder's Quorum President, Evan Glassett but he 's not picking up his phone. After all, it was office hours when I called. So I dialled Steve Funk's number instead. Steve is the husband of Sheri, my visiting teacher. He also is the 1st counselor in the branch presidency. I told him the whole thing of which I asked him if it's ok to receive a blessing that day. He affirmatively said he'll find another priesthood holder to assist him. The soonest I put down the phone, Evan called back and told him the same thing. He said he will come to give me the needed blessings and comfort. I was relieved!


We arrived at the emergency room of our hospital, the Dammam Medical Complex at about 1:20pm. Aizza immediately got off the car, took my iqama (residence ID) and got me an  ER number. She knew ER protocol very well since she worked there for 6 months. Rico assisted me the whole time. I was in pain and can't barely walk. Oh, I just felt so lucky to have him be my "crutches" that time. Not all of his girl-friends has that privelege hahaha. I was told to proceed to the female ER where there were at least 10 more patients waiting so I instructed Aizza to tell Rico to go home so he could get a rest and some sleep. He will have duty that night and he's tired and sleepless either. Besides, men were not allowed at the female ER so Muyyad brought Rico home and Aizza and I were left at the female ER. I had a quick nap while I waited for my turn. It was past 4pm when I was attended to by Dr. Walaa. I was told to have skull and lumbar X-rays. Both have normal results and was prescribed Voltaren 1 ampule IM but due to fear of injection, I took the ampule and put it in my pocket and told the nurse I will ask Aizza to inject it on me if pain will be unbearable. Paracetamol 1 gram tablet and Voltaren tablet was added as my PRN (as necessary) meds plus a day sick leave. Aizza questioned the doctor's order of a day sickleave but it's an ER protocol. Should I need more, then I have to go to the employee's clinic the next day for additional and longer number of days of sick leave.
4:30pm- Got my ER sickleave notification and have to submit it to ICU where I work. Aizza processed the whole thing. First, she called Muyyad, who lives across the hospital, came to ER then drove us to the medical tower, the building where our ICU is located. Why drive? Two things:1) I can't walk and 2) the distance between ER and ICU is as far as, in my fair mathematical calculation, 250 meters. Besides, getting a sick leave in our department is terrible like, there's a lot of papers to fill in, etc. Aizza went to the nursing office to get a sickleave form while I waited in the car with Muyyad infront of the dental clinic. There, while parked, me sitting at the back and muyyad at the driver's seat, mam Carmen (Ciudad) and mam Luz (Quiamco) saw us and smiled at me while they walked through going back to the hostel. After getting the form at the nursing office, we went back to ER with Joyce, who just came from duty and was invited by Aizza to go with us in the car. But decided to go home when she reached ER. The ER doctor then signed the sickleave form, then we drove back to the medical tower, then Aizza went to ICU, submitted my sickleave form and finally, alleluia, it was done! Whew! What a protocol!


 It was 5:15pm and we were hungry! I told Muyyad to bring us to a restaurant where we can have dinner before going home to rest and sleep. Besides, the cafeteria wasn't open yet (and even if it's open, I seldom go there to eat) plus the fact that I can no longer go out from the hostel after declaring my sick leave so he drove us to Khobar to have us dine at a Thai Resto where "real foods" were served. While driving towards Khobar, I called Evan and dropped the idea of a priesthood blessing because I thought I was perfectly okay. Evan reminded me once again that should I need help or any assistance, I should not hesitate to call back. We arrived in Khobar before prayertime and even in my most painful situation, I managed to walk 15 meters from the parking area to the restaurant. It's in there where I took my first dose of Diclofenac and Paracetamol tabs. We stayed til 7:35pm. On our way home, I started to fall asleep.

I was awakened when we made the right turn at MMG building. But between MMG building and our hostel will take at least 10-15 more minutes so I went back to my slumber. After 10 minutes, I was awakened with Muyyad's voice, calling my name. As I slowly opened my eyes, saw blinking lights infront of the car and heard Aizza who was sitting at the passenger seat infront, saying "Ate, naaksidente tayo" (Ate, we had an accident). I looked at Muyyad, hold his face by my left hand and asked him who he was and where we came from. He said my lips has blood in it, my right cheek has bruises and blood was dripping on my cheek but I couldn't feel anything. Then he started to cry and told Aizza I can't remember who he was! At the back of mind, however, I vividly remember 3 names- Knycole, Kryztl and Rico! Other than that, I couldn't remember anything. The next thing I knew, I was lying on a bed and heard Rico on the left side of the bed saying, "Gie, andito na ako". I remembered saying "Rico?" then I fall asleep again. When I woke up, I was at the female ER and saw Aizza sitting at the foot of my bed. Friends and colleagues were there, too. But up to that point, I was clueless of what really happened. Things were so unclear! The only thing I knew was we had an accident! But detailwise, I was innocent.

There were info coming in and out but things aren't sinking in. I was observing and looking at and talking to people but all of the things around me seem like a dream. After staying at the female ER for 2 hours, I was finally declared safe and free from confinement and can go home and rest. Rose, another colleague and a friend who were with 5 other friends, came from an interrupted sleep opted to stay while the others (after having known everything was well) went home to prepare for their night duty. She and Aizza assisted me to the wheelchair and brought us to Mudeer Munawa, the hospital director on duty. He has with him our iqama and told us we're free from police questionings and other interrogations and that he cleared us from the hospital director and that we're free to go home. And as the Arabic saying goes. "Al Hamdullilah!"


But where's Rico and Muyyad?.............Didn't you know that the only time I got back to my real self was when I saw Muyyad and Rico again after 3 days? Yes, after 3 days, the 4 of us got reunited again at McDonald's Bin Khaldoun store and that's the only time I was able to gather my thoughts and senses - that's the very time I came to know of the reallity and the severity of the accident and the other misfortunes that go with it.


Rico WASN'T with us during the accident. He went back home after he brought us to ER at about 2pm. Out of confusion, however, Aizza called him that night to inform him of what happened. He then insisted to come to the hospital. When the police saw him talking to me while I was at the Xray room, they took his iqama and was asked to go with them. He can't speak Arabic and can't express his side of the story. All the while, the police thought he was with us. There were mixed emotions as he dealt with his own adversities. While waiting for the police to give back his iqama, the red crescent (ambulance) driver told him to go with him and in his cluttered mind, entered into the ambulance car and the driver brought him to Khobar area asking him personal questions along the way. All the while, he thought that the driver knew where to get his iqama. He tried to call Aizza but he ran out of load and even asked the driver to lend him his phone. Aizza informed him that the police got back to the hospital and they were looking for him so they could give him back his ID so he asked the ambulance driver to turn back and lucky enough, he was brought back to the hospital safe and unharmed. He got back his iqama and went back home the soonest. That's the very time I saw him on a hurry and looked disoriented. He said it's not safe there and he's going home, he still have his duty that night. He said he will call and will get updates.

Muyyad, on the other hand, was taken by the police. He was put in jail for 6 hours. He was questioned why he was with women, not his wife and has to answer the totally wrecked rented car, the red crescent car he bumped into and the other car that was parked near the ambulance's GMC car that sustained minor injury. Lucky enough, they let go of him between 2:30-3am the next day.


That day when I saw him again and it was a Wednesday, July 20, I gave him a hug knowing we are still alive and intact as friends. He told us of his emotional battles, his painful experiences with the police, the fear of being put back in jail, the hefty amount he was about to pay for all the damages and more so, the blame of being a careless driver. I have to assure him it's no one's fault and we should be thankful to God, to Allah (to him being a Muslim) that we were there that day celebrating life.


Its been 3 weeks since that topsy turvy day. Physical pain has subsided and eventually, will totally fade in time but the emotional cut that goes with the surreality of that experience will remain. We've been judged harshly, we've been talked about, we've been tried by the secret publicity of wrong informations, we're the issue in the entire desperate Filipino (and other nationalities, to be fair)community in the hospital, we've been looked down by the seemingly innocent and righteous individuals. In other words, up to this day, we're still THE BOMB that dropped deadly in the silent worlds of the paparazzis! Mind you, the issue is slowly getting out from the hot spot but in the mind of those who thought themselves as if they were the affected parties, the drama remains


Oh well, I have said much! And my parting words will be this: Bring us in or bring us down! The experience gave us a new life and to Muyyad, Rico and Aizza: YOU ROCK!!!!! Cheers to new LIFE!!!

A Walk to Remember

This is a self-challenge: write and publish a blog in an hour! It's 9:30 pm, 28 March 2011 and I will write on the activity I had today.

Had my first day duty today after a 3-days off and Mondays were not as busy as Saturdays in the hospital but still went through gruelling 8-hour duty. With no breakfast, headed to ICU and 1st hour was urgh! Freakin' toxic! (That's the term we use when we're busy at work!). The usual morning routine was doctors, in plural form, rounds- all specialists, consultants, residents, anesthetists, name it and they will come to see patients and do nothing but ask the nurse tons of questions. So the challenge here is for the nurse to memorize everything in the patient's chart - assessment, medications, laboratory results, latest vital signs, and don't ever miss out the seem-like the most important of all - urine output for the last 24 hours. Duh?......Ok, justified! My patient has renal impairment so asking me the total output makes sense! Needless to say, I survived! Just in the nick of time, polished off my nurses' notes, carried out all doctor's orders and sent all laboratory exams, medicated patient, did afternoon all bedside care and off I rushed to go home after munching on my Big Mac for both breakfast and lunch, all in one. Tired, I straightway went to bed after checking on my FB account with nothing exciting so for the first time after 2 weeks, had a nap after my duty. But my deep slumber was interrupted with a loud noise coming from outside my room. Some inconsiderate homo sapiens just can't have a little common sense! So what I did was to put on my MP4 at its loudest and never went back to sleep, but well of course, no normal human being can sleep with full blast music on the ear!

Inah, my roommate, has her off duty today and never went out our room since she woke up (well, maybe she did when she took a bath and used the bathroom) but never really spent a "real day off" today. That's when we decided for a walk at Corniche, Dammam, a great walking /jogging track alongside the Arabian Gulf. I was thinking like, it was a good idea since I cancelled all my dates today because I was "tired". And so we dressed up for a walk, called up a friend to drive us to the beach but the gruelling stomach kept me uneasy. We decided to drop by at Starbucks for a cold frap, chocolate chip cream flavored with cheese croissant for me and blueberry muffin for her. "To go". That's how they call it for "take out" here. With these foodies on hand, we walked through Corniche from 6:45pm to 7:30pm. I personally enjoyed lots of things during this awesome activity.

First, it was a break from my usual dining in dates. For those who follow me with FB, you probably are envious of my resto adventures hahaha. Sure, I will make a blog of all my dine in galore. Soon. But this unplanned activity I had with Inah is one thing I enjoyed the most.

Second, I sure loved to shed off the excess fat. with that 45-minute walk? I should have shed off hhmmm, 200 calories the least? Oops, did I? With the choco frap and croissant? Well, never mind, the most imporatant is that, I had this little exercise. Haven't done this for the last 6 months.

Third, bonding with Inah is also a different story. I've been going out with Rushelle and Aizza most of the time, but Inah, being on an evening (3-11pm) shift and me, on morning (7am-3pm) shift never really got the time to talk and "bond" the way we did the past months. So this walk was something memorable.

Fourth, taking time to enjoy and appreciate nature is another reason. Malling was my kind of thing and going out to see the beach and walk through its shore, even at nighttime gave me the opportunity to once again reconnect with mother nature. Nothing beats the natural beauty of this world we live in.

And so, I had fun! It was a stress-free afternoon. I was relaxed! No boys, no mega spending, no worldly pleasure - just plain fun! For me, it was an Arabian night walk to remember. I thank Inah for her time and sharing the same interest with me today, a Monday.

How we end up? Another 1 hour walk at Marina Mall, adjacent to Corniche. After all, we're girls who have vanity at times. :)



Corniche, Dammam, KSA

150 days in the Kingdom

ETKT 065 2402788636 via Saudi Arabian Airlines, Terminal 11 Arrival Time 2050 Dammam

Arrived in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia at a temperature of 38 degree celcius, 09/09/2010, Wednesday at 2200 hours via Saudi Arabian Airlines Dammam-Riyadh flight. Upon setting my foot on this part of the world, I asked myself, WHY AM I HERE? This was the place I was told NEVER to go to, but, well, I JUST ARRIVED!! Reality bites but I committed myself to making my stay in the kingdom, not all work but also some sort of fun.

FIRST IMPRESSION: A-ha, so this is Saudi, ey? So where's the desert and the camels? All I saw were lights and buildings ('twas nighttime when we arrived)! And while it's true that men wear white long dress with headdress and women wear long black dress called abaya, which we were told to bring and wear once we arrive and so, immediately wore it upon stepping off the plane, some men also wear a "more westernized" outfit. Terrorized? Not really. Surfed facts from the net about Saudi, Dammam specifically, prior to coming to the kingdom. Disappointed, yes. Men at the airport were just too slow facilitating papers. Took us 4 hours before we left the airport exhausted, sleepy and hungry.

TRAVEL TO MCH - Luggages women carry on travel almost always won't fit a bus. 13 girls travelling in a shuttle bus was almost like a sardine, but we fit in and travelled to Maternity and Children's Hospital for a night's accomodation. Vividly remembered the big, thick door that opened for us when we entered the waiting area and the long greetings they have for each other:  Greetings was Waasalamalaykum. Repllied with waalaykum salam. Sometimes followed by waramatula albarakat. Since it was night time when we arrive, I heard them greet "sabah alnoor"....hmm,  time consuming! But it didn't bother me at all. I was focused on where to lie down because I was too sleepy that time.

MATERNITY AND CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL - Brought by a Saudi male driver and a Saudi female nurse to MCH Hostel, where we thought would be our destination. Barely new hospital, everything new there, including the hostel and everything that's inside. Stayed there for 2 days and made friends with the other 12 girls who arrived with me.

12 OTHER GIRLS - I arrived in KSA with these girls, knowing only Inah whom I met at the Saudi Recruitment Office 2 days before our flight but never really remembered her face. I kept calling one girl Inah who happened to be Rose, of whom I later met on our first breakfast. Among the 12, it's only Inah, Rushelle, Donna, Rose and Roshelle whom I remember. Disappointing that I don't even remember the name of my roommate at MCH! I'm just too poor at remembering names.

SALAH (Prayertime) - Salah is done 5x a day in the kingdom. Prior to the prayer, an announcer would make a call for prayer who uses a loud speaker to inform or remind every Muslim for prayer. Ex-saudi's explained to us what we heard and I find it, well, creepy at first. But I got used to it!

FIRST SAUDI BREAKFAST - amazed with the QUANTITY of food they delivered for a meal! Seems like one serving is meant for 4 persons. The usual MOH stuff - bread, cream cheese, coffee (I don't drink coffee, 'tho), a bottle of water and some foods I never really liked, maybe because they're all strangers to me.

MOH INTERVIEW - Saturday 10am, while doing the laundry in our pajamas, were told to go to "Moderiya" (Ministry of Health office). Never did we thought that, that would be the last time our group could be together. Question asked to me: What are the different modes of ventilator? Same question asked to Rushelle, Donna and Inah. A question we never thought would bring us to Dammam Central Hospital. Other girls were assigned to different hospitals and dispensaries in the Eastern Region.

DAMMAM MEDICAL COMPLEX - a 485 bed capacity tertiary hospital, formerly Dammam Central Hospital, located at 4th St, Dammam City. Specifically assigned to ICU, a 33 bed capacity department, where Indian nurses rule! I mean, majority of them are Indians; Saudi's next then Filipinos and some Indonesians. Have seen only 2 male nurses, the rest females. The sound of ventilators and cardiac monitors didn't bother me but sure gave me anxiety knowing that this is a new place, new adjustment with equipments but more so with the people.

HOSTEL 3 - the hospital has 3 hostels, ours was at hostel 3, kinda' old but we don't mind as long as Rushelle, Donna, Inah and I were together. We were temporarily housed at the guest room at the ground floor where there are 4 single beds but we opted to put together 3 beds so we could sleep together. And so developed the friendship which we have until now. It was there where we told stories of our lives, what made us decide to come here and some of our personal backgrounds. We had the same schedules and we're always together sleeping, eating, going on duties. How I miss that room!

FLAT 6 - After 2 weeks came the reality that we can't be together forever. Our hostel matron informed us that she've found a place for us to stay. And so Inah and I were assigned to Flat 6 while Donna and Rushelle at Flat 14, which is 2 floors away from our flat. Ours was dainty and spic and span with everything we need - sofa, TV, dining table and chairs for 4, cooking range, a ref, washing machine, a hot and cold shower, almost everything except a wifi. What I like about out flat is the cooing sound of pigeons flying on our windows, but not liking them making po-po on the building. We have other 2 flatmates who, at the very first time, were told were mean and true enough, Inah and my patience were sorely tested but hey, we're staying here no matter what!

FIRST TRAVEL outside the hospital:  Invited by Mam Carmen, our Nurse Educator to join her in her church. There, for the first time, saw a congregation of Filipinos. Feels like home, in a different situation, in a strange place.

MOVIE MARATHONS - when nobody but Donna has the laptop and haven't had our salary yet, we simply enjoyed being together and watched movies previously downloaded in the Philippines. Spent most of the time on bed with Inah, Rushelle, Aizza (who came 2 weeks ahead of us) and Donna munching on oranges, doritos, lays, bread and cream cheese. This is what I missed the most - a very simple beginning.

FIRST McDONALD's EXPERIENCE: Mam Carmen brought us to McDonald's near Rameez and mesmerized with a food chain being closed during prayer time and men and women ordering and eating separately, except for the Family section where men, usually the father or brothers could eat with their families. And the McDonald's sandwiches, fries and drinks were huge! Not the usual Filipino size! No rice for chicken meal, 'tho.

MEDICAL: Had our medical exams for employment and application for Iqama, a residence ID. Couldn't forget the gauge 12 needle that pricked my median cephalic vein for blood sampling. Hate that thing!

THE FIRST SHOUT - On our first week, we were told by the nursing office to submit a picture with our black tarha on but we didn't have any. And were also told that there's one studio near the hospital where we can go have our picture taken. Planned to go there but the matron said there's no available driver who will bring us to the place so we decided to just go without the matron knowing. We told her we will go to the bacala, a store near the hospital but decided rather to cross the street and walked through the studio and had our ID picture taken. Unknowingly, the matron asked the guard to go after us and when he didn't see us at the bacala, she suspected we went to the studio and when we came back to the hostel came also the first shout of "MGA WALANGHIYA KAYO, ANG KAKAPAL NG MUKHA NYO". Humbled by our lyings, we asked for an apology but the matron was so furious and didn't accept the many sorry's we said. Until now, when she would see us, she seemed so paranoid as if we would be doing some mischievous stuff to her again. She was a road traffic accident survivor and with the brain surgery she undergone which resulted to her different moods, we tried to extend as much patience and understanding as we could with her shoutings and frettings. Until when would we be patient to her, I do not know!

DHAHRAN MALL - The Ministry of Health provides free ride to Souq, a marketplace, every Saturday from 5pm -9pm; to HyperPanda, others call it Rameez, every Monday, and to Dhahran mall every Tuesday. First time we had our names listed on one Tuesday of October 2010 and experienced malling in this 11,000 square meter mall, one of the biggest in the Kingdom. Such a worldly pleasure!

RIDE TO SOUQ - A souq is a marketplace. The first time was a laughing adventure. It's always like that when we lack sleep, we tend to laugh at things nonsense but sure enjoyed it a lot! In a group, we walked through streets and going in and out of the different stores but what we liked the most is the Makati grocery store where all Filipino foods can be purchased at a more expensive price. But we love the things they sell there - 80% Filipino.

STILL, CHURCH MATTERS - this time, mine. On October 1, Lee, Jackie, Joshua and Holly- the McMorn's picked me up at DMC and brought me to my Church where I feel no more a stranger but fellowcitizen in the Kingdom. Just loved the place and the people there.

AL KHOBAR ADVENTURE - It was a Church thing. Inah, Rushelle and I attended a bonfire activity. First time to set our barefoot to the Persian Gulf overseeing the Bahrain Bridge. Kees drove us to that place. Beautiful adventure with beautiful people!

WARD ROTATION - After a month of stay at ICU, were informed that we will be rotated to the different wards, of which I was hesitant at first but eventually learned to love the people I worked with and the place I worked at. All the 4 wards I was assigned to (2 weeks each) were disappointing, exciting, sometime boring but it's always work. Assigned to Female Surgical Ward A, B and C (FSA, FSB, FSC) and lastly, the best of them all, Female Medical Ward, the busiest of all the wards where I lost 2 kilos in just 2 weeks! :)

FIRST PAYCHECK - after 2 months came the most awaited salary - on a check! Encashed it and off we rushed to Jarir to purchase a notebook. Mine was a netbook and a digicam. Finally, a connection to the world!

MOTTAWA ENCOUNTER - Let me recall what actually happened. Inah, Rushelle and I headed to Dahran Mall but decided to cross over Jarir Plaza opposite the mall and have Inah bought a notebook at Jarir bookstore. It was almost 7pm when we felt the need to fill in an empty stomach so Inah and I walked through the center aisle to look for something to eat when a mottawa, a religious police, caught us without a tarha on our head and shouted "cover your hair, sisters, cover your hair." Nervewrecking indeed! Inah and I put on our tarha immediately, which were hanged on our necks and instead of finding a resto or a fastfood, we ended up at a sports store where I bought my first Nike shoes for half the price of 125rials. What a great find! Thanks to the mottawa!

FIRST RAIN - Our first rain came with the Mottawa experience. We were at Jarir Plaza when the rain started to fall and caught it on a video which until now I haven't uploaded yet. One of my memorables.

SAUDI COUNCIL - A saudi licensing body for professionals. Adel, our Saudi Council officer couldn't just understand the need for us to immediately facilitate our papers so we could get a temporary license, a requirement for Iqama and so we have to go to Al Khobar, Saudi Council main office 4x before we finally got this freaking temporary license and have spent more than a thousand rials, registration fee, included, on fares and foods. Got mine 2 weeks ago and finally, an IQAMA.

FRIDAY's on a Wednesday - Had dinner at Friday's Khobar on our 120th day. Supposed to avail of the 35rial lunch but we ended up ordering from the regular menu. Enjoyed it more with friends/colleague who only had 4 hours sleep after a night shift and will go back to work later that night.

CHILLIN' at CHILI'S- An Egyptian consultant from Saad Specialist Hospital, Rushelle's friend, invited us over for dinner. We chose Chili's and have him pay 500++ rials for the 4 of us (Inah, Rushelle, myself and himself). He brought us back to our hostel in BMW! On Facebook, a friend said, "you're dangerous.....dangerous on the pocket!" LOL!

MEN in SAUDI - How do I find men in Saudi? Saudis are exempted from my comments for my safety. Hahaha......But in general, I find most men in Saudi craving for more from women. Everytime they see women, they get to stare at us  for reason I do not know. Or maybe because they seldom see women without a tarha or an abaya on.

BUILDINGS AND STREETS- Arabian touch. Most of the buildings here look the same. Until now, I'm lost with buildings and streets and find it embarrasing when being asked where I live because I couldn't give a concrete direction. I'm not a good navigator! Sigh!

KUYA OLAN - found a friend, a good, defensive, trustworthy driver, cook, adviser, who help us explore our new world. Rolando Viray, a Filipino and works here for 9 years whom we call kuya O, is the one making suggestions for us where to go, where to dine, where to spend a day off, etc. Almost all of the places we went into were his ideas. He would also transact businesses for us and we felt blessed to have known him.

ICU/ER BEAUTIES - Aizza created this group for Facebook. A group of new nurses who invaded ICU and ER- myself, Inah, Rushelle, Donna, Aizza, Geraldine, Jinky, Judy, Rose Ann and Francelle. These girls rock!

CAFETERIA - MOH provides free food for employees. Ours is ready to eat foods and always broasted chicken, beef or fried fish of the same variety and cooking. On Wednesdays is bariani chicken and rice and I never really liked spicy and hot. Skipped all Wednesdays and resorted into bread or none at all.

KADEER, THE GUARD - Most of our hostel guards are lax but not Kadeer, whom we call Jonathan. He's kinda' strict but we knew his weakness: FOOD! So we started giving him pepsi and something he could munch on during duties and he started loosing his belt on us. Indeed, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!

FIRST CHRISTMAS - On duty from 3pm-11pm December 24 and went home with a party awaiting, actually a despedida party for a colleague who've spent 20 years in the Kingdom. Enjoyed the dancing and singing with newfound friends.

NEW YEAR 2011- Never planned on celebrating new year but celebrated it anyway - with a blast! After our 11pm duty, dressed up and attended a party in our Bosses' room and I'd say, it was a wonderful celebration even when we're longing for our families who are miles away from us on this special day!

COLD WEATHER - never really thought that temperature here could drop down to 8 degrees (the coldest I've experienced). A humid country now experiencing cold weather and I have to purchase jackets because I only brought 3; to suit the cold weather. Temperature ranged from 8-16 degrees and hope it'll last forever.

CORNICHE, DAMMAM - Planned on spending a day off one Friday at the bayside and so we did with he ER/ICU beauties with Kuya Olan and his wife, Ate Ning and another driver-friend, Faisal. 'Twas a great, breezy cold night out there. Thanks to Kuya Olan's and Geraldine's cooking, we had a wonderful time. And yes, of course, Francelle's DSLR cam. The activity was sooo cool and cold! We ended up at Starbuck's for hot choco for me and coffee for them!

LAUGHING MOMENTS - The greatest time for me are our friend's laughing moments over jokes cracked by Jinky or Rose Ann. We love to laugh our hearts out, til we drop. There are 4 moments I enjoyed laughing out loud and long: 1. At Souq with Inah, Rushelle and Donah; 2. in the bathroom while doing the laundry, with Inah; 3. At McDonald's with Jinky, Rose, Rushelle and Judy; and 4. At Rameez, with Jinky. I couldn't exactly remembered why I laughed but I sure remembered I laughed out loud and long and I just loved those times!

THE FRIENDSHIP - Indeed, I am enjoying my stay in the kingdom because I have friends here. They're making my stay a bit of heaven in the desert! Thank you, Rushelle, Inah, Aizza, Jinky, Judy, Rose, Geraldine, Donna, Francelle, Kuya Olan, Ate Vicky, Evan, Len, Kees for your friendship. You're God-given gift to me in place called Saudi Arabia.

Lastly, on my 150th day in the kingdom, I wish I could learn, appreciate and see more of the many good things in the Kingdom. I know there'll be more and I look forward  to the day when I will finally say, hey, it's worth being in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia!

"Who left?"

New Year 2003

Spent the night at Manila Diamond Hotel. It wasn't a pleasant stay but rather a freaky night because we didn't actually spent the night together as a family. He was on his phone til 3am and I was pissed off and jealous. We ended up sleeping on different beds.

The next few days were freakier and freakier. And honestly, I am terrorized everyday that I already am designing a master plan in case something worst happens.

January 14 - His day off and my schedule to teach Institute class at 7pm-9pm. He went home almost 10am from a 10pm-6am shift. He had brunch, and we chatted as if nothing big was happening. That time, we're trying to live normally and working our way to mend things. Before he went to bed past 12noon, he instructed me to wake him up at 6pm so he could attend my class. Past 6pm, however he was still sleeping like a baby. I decided not to wake him up, instead instructed my kids not to make any noise so he could sleep some more. After all, I'll only be away for a couple of hours.

I finished off my lecture and went home 15 minutes past 9pm. I was on the gate when I heard loud music inside the house and wondering what my kids and their dad were up to. I thought they're just having fun or something. When I went up the 2nd floor, the computer was on and it's playing his old time favorite Bon Jovi songs. Scooter on the floor, throw pillows disarrannged, kids were in the side sofa, crying and embracing each other. I went near them, and whispered, "What happened?". Kryztl got up and hugged me tightly, trembling, and said, "Mommy, si Daddy!". I asked, "Why?" She said, "Mommy, natatakot ako! Ayoko sabihin". She said she's afraid and don't want to tell me anything. I assured her that there's nothing to be afraid of and that mommy will be on her side. I told her to tell me EXACTLY what happened. She was sobbing and her two hands were on my neck tightly hugging me as she narrated what transpired few minutes before I arrived. She said that she and her 4 year old sister were playing and had a little poking here and there then her little sister cried when she hit her unintentionally. It pissed off their dad, who was playing counterstrike on the computer and when he heard Knycole cry, got up and grabbed the brown comb (which maybe the only thing he saw)and spanked it on hKryztl's left shoulder then took the scooter and banged it at her,  which part of her body was hit, I couldn't remember. I made a quick assessment as to what part of her body was affected and saw bruises on her left shoulder. Furious, I left the kids and went upstairs where Bong was, according to the kids. I wanted to confront him of what he did but I never got the chance to say a word because I was shocked at what I saw. HE'S ALL PACKED UP - ALL HIS CLOTHES! He took everything he owned and instead of angry words, I mellowed down and asked, "Bong, bakit?" (Why?). He didn't say a word. Then he put on his shirt, lifted up his bags and went down the 1st floor. Knycole ran after him but he didn't say a word.  Instead, he put on his green adidas and left. My kids and I heard the door closed  the and the creaking sound of the gate as he walked away.  Shocked and couldn't find any word, I and the kids sat down and they were staring at me as if waiting what would be my next move. Then I got up, took the phone and dialled my mom's phone number. Without any thought, I told her, "Mom, Bong left us", then narrated to her the whole story. I don't know what she must have felt that time. As a mom, it must have been very painful to see a daughter suffer that way. The only thing she assured me was, "you can come home anytime".
Still perplexed, I dialled my Bishop's number after that long distance call. I told Bishop Estella what happened. He said I don't have to worry for he will come to the house and help me figure out what to do. True to his words, he was with us after few minutes. He lives few blocks away from us. He said he should not have come because his wife was kinda' jealous because he was with me in my class few minutes ago and again, he has to come to the house to personally talk to me. She didn't have any idea what's going on between me and Bong and I admire my Bishop for keeping confidentiality on the matter. I have to asked an apology for Sister Baby and hoped she understands. He assured me she will and she can. He asked what my plans were. I told him I don't know. He advised me to be wise in making any decision at the height of my emotion. He emphasized the importance of family, of forgiveness, of patience, of giving another chance, of God's grace and mercy. He stayed with us for almost 2 hours and prayed with me and my kids before he left.

I also called Bong's dad, who happened to be a neighbor, because our house was a duplex type and he lived on the other side of the wall. He and his young "wife", Emy didn't have any idea what's going on with me and his son. By the way, his dad and mom separated a long time ago and his dad was "married to" Emy Borromeo, his student at the Philippine Christian University. He told me that maybe Bong was just around the corner and having a time of his life "thinking and meditating", as it was his habit when faced with stress and severed with problems. I emphasized to him that he took all his belongings and I was not confident of his actions. He instructed me to go to sleep and wait for Bong the next day. He tried to pacify me like a child but no word can stabilize my emotions that time.

 Past 12mn, my sister Annabelle called me and informed me she, my dad, my brother Gilbert, who brought along with him a gun, my cousin, who drove the van with his wife were on their way to Manila to "rescue" us. I thought she was joking but at 5am, there was a knock on the door and it was truly them! My dad embraced me tightly as he was crying and said with his trembling voice, "What happened to you? Where's my granddaughters? Are they okay?" I wanted to cry, too but I controlled those tears. My sister was teasing us, "ang paboritong anak (the most favorite daughter)". My brothers and she would tease me with the words "special child", as my dad was very vocal about telling everyone, I am his favorite. I was ashamed to my dad because of what happened to me and my marriage because I fought for Bong, leaving everything behind for him and yet, this was the result!

We had light breakfast and after eating, they started taking everything they could take and put them in the van, for my dad and my brother were decided to bring me back home. I didn't even notice what they carried with them because I was busy writing a letter- that 2nd to the last letter I wrote for Bong, explaining why we have to leave, reassuring him of my eternal love for him, and that he knows where we're going; that in case, he would want to look for us, we're simply 5 hours away from Valenzuela, Metro Manila. And that, in case he would come to take us back, we could once again rebuild our family through God's help. I couldn't count the tears I shed that time when I filled back to back the yellow pad I used to writing the letter. Mind you, I am teary eyed as I am writing this piece at 2:08 am today, January 4, 2011, almost 8 years ago when my kids and I left with the hope that there will someday be him and me and me and him with our two daughters.

It was past 6am when we're done with all the packing. On the other hand, Bong's dad was awakened and came to our house and saw what we were into. My dad and him embraced each other and my dad didn't utter any word but cried the whole time. My heart was breaking to see my dad cry for me! Then he finally said, "pa'no, balae, kukunin ko na sila Ginalyn". Then I handed to him the letter for his son. I told him, we're going home to La Union and in case he would want to come take me and my daughters back, he knows where to find us.

Did he come to La Union? Did he make any effort to bring me and my daughters back home? Nope! He said, in his text message: KUNG SINONG UMALIS, SIYANG MATUTONG BUMALIK. I couldn't translate that in a way that I can truly convince you who really left, but he kept emphasizing, "She who have left, should learn to find her way back". Until now, his claim was that, it was us who left. And until now, I kept saying, he left us. But no matter what the case was, it's been almost 8 years since my daughters and I were spared from hell.